Consufed..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by alexander, Apr 28, 2010.

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  1. alexander

    alexander Active Member

    I'm tired and fed up with this life tbh, I try to find the courage to end it but it's so hard, I wish I was stronger, I just don't know who I am any more, I've never felt like I've fitted in with society for as long as I can remember, or even been comfortable in my own body, I look in the mirror sometimes and all I see is a stranger, my image is so far removed from how I feel inside, sometimes I wonder whether I suffer from gender dysphoria because I feel much more feminine internally than masculine I really don't tbh, it's hard for me to communicate with women on a friendly level because they for most part think they I only want them sexually when really all I want is a friend, I really don't care about sex tbh and for all I care I could lose my genitalia and it wouldn't bother me, this world is messed up enough as it is because of peoples sexual impulses and desires taking precedent over righteousness.

    <sigh>

    I just find it so hard to care to fit in, I really don't know any more, your born into existence on this spinning ball relying on another ball millions of miles away made up primarily of hydrogen and helium that is just the right distance away to keep us alive, I find that so amazing, I'm 32 years old and the gazing at the stars on a clear night still bring a tear to my eye, but people seem so wrapped up in their primeval instinctual driven lives it's so depressing.

    I hope one day I have the courage to go home.
     
  2. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    You're right, Alexander, it is amazing. I guess it's amazing that any of us are even here.

    I think we all feel at times as though we don't fit in. I'm sorry that you are having issues with this problem. We're all changing, all the time, and everything around us is changing even faster. Who can keep up.

    I hope you find peace. And I understand the desire to go home. I just hope you continue to make here your home for a long time yet.
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It goes against everything we have been taught and every instinct to commit suicide.. You should really try therapy.. It helps quite a bit.. It gives you a chance to open up with a professional and sort things out..Give it ago what do you have to loose..We all have been there.. I have been in therapy for five years and still think about suicide daily..But I have learned to block it out and go about my buisness..Now if I could learn how to get past all my other problems..lol..Take care...
     
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