contact from abusive ex...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by byebyebeautiful, Oct 31, 2010.

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  1. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    short story is, I was 15-16 and he was 16-18 (1 year two month relationship) he was physically sexually emotionally and verbally abusive towards me from the beginning of the relationship, aside from sexual that came two months in. After a break in which I made a close emotional connection with another lad. (the break was two weeks)

    Anyway, that relationship ended and two weeks after it did he came to see me and raped me one last time, after that I got into a relationship with his then best friend. Anyway when I joined the college which he attended he made my life hell, going around the college bragging about raping and abusing me. His friends and the college took his side. and I had to quit college. Blah blah blah.

    Fast forward to this year (age 20) I finally managed to forgive him, and this was the breaking point for my life, I was finally able to continue and move onwards and upwards an come to university with no baggage. this was a few months ago, between roughly may - july.

    Yesterday he made contact with me.
    Him "Boo..."
    Me "Who is this.." - "Oh wait I know who it is.."
    Him "Just making sure uni is going ok for you. You wont hear from me again."
    Me "Uni is going amazingly, got a boyfriend and life is good. Hope is all good for you."
    As I had forgiven him I decided to reply to that last text.
    Him "Its not. That should make you happy! Be careful. I may be scary but I mean well. Just be careful ok? "

    He was very manipulative through the relationship so this text has me concerned, his sister attends the same university as I do, and is studying on the campus I live opposite. And there is a high possibility if she finds out I'm at university her family may find out and thus make my life hell. As my ex is doing nothing with his life and is apparently falling deep into depression, this is of course my fault (in their eyes) and if I'm doing well they wont be happy. They see what their son did to me as my own fault. Which maybe it was maybe it wasn't I don't know anymore.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Of course it was NOT your fault and DON"T even respond to him get it
    YOu are not apart of his life anymore do not be dragged back into it.
    YOu are sending a msg by responding so DON"T block all means of him communicating to you

    You moved on good for you now keep moving as far away as possible take care of YOU and YOU only NO MORE communication okay He was an ass and will always be an abuser that is the way things will be with him abuse and a user don't fall for it . take care okay
     
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Abusive people make excuses for their behavior, chances are the whole family is abusive and in denial that they fucked up....

    If they bother you, go to the police...you did NOT deserve ANY of the abuse and rape...do not let them beat you about it either...They are the ones who are wrong...never forget that...

    I'm sorry you went through that : ( at least you have your boyfriend right? I'm sure he will help you if anything happens...
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    He sounds unstable...please be careful to protect yourself...and make the contact short...J
     
  5. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    this may sound a bit cruel-- but it is important for you to follow your best interest... and I think it is in your best interest to cut him off completely.
    None of this 'friendship' bullshit- or text, email, talking through a friend-- cut him off completely.
    Given your past with him, he may not back off like he claims he will.
    Whatever he says-- don't believe him! You know in your heart that he is only trying to manipulate you... so do not let him!

    If you need to block him number from your cellphone, you can usually call your provider's customer support line and ask to have it blocked.

    Do not let him drag you down again, okay?
     
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