Contant failure.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by VengeanceDNS, Mar 13, 2007.

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  1. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    Constant failure-that's the actual title, sorry for the typo.

    Hi, I'm Dan, I'm posting because I think the people on this forum will understand me more than most people can. Right now I'm not feeling too bad so what I type will probably not give a full impression of how I feel. Maybe over time as I post people will understand more. This isn't self pitying, I just want to say where I am in depression and why and well I want to see what you people have to say. I guess the main reasons for my depression has been relationships, family, stress and my mind.

    I am way too sensitive. Now while this has been a benefit in my relationships generally it also means I take jokes far too seriously. People can hurt me really badly without realising it. I brood and hold things close and think deeply on what people said or did and why.

    I'm in therapy but my last session was quite a while because I missed the last one because I was ill. My next is on the 23rd. I have a sense of complete self-loathing, I can admire certain parts of me but what use is any qualities I may have if I want to kill myself. Ultimatly my happiness is pointless because it always go back to unhappiness. I'm alot happier than I was last year due to me opening up far more about my depression but I am still seriously suicidal.

    I've cut five times, normally after a particularly low point. I write quite alot of poetry to release my pain and it normally helps. I've never dealt with breakups in relationships particularly well. I don't really know what else to say right now but I'll keep on posting. Feel free to ask any questions you want to.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2007
  2. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum VengeanceDNS :welcome:
     
  3. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome :smile:
     
  5. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    thanks, is this a good place to be?
     
  6. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

    Absolutely theres lots of people who can understand what your going through. Everyones very supportive and understanding.
     
  7. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    good, i need a place like this, i only have a few people in my life who understand and are willing to help
     
  8. beautifuloblivion

    beautifuloblivion Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to SF, Dan!

    This is an excellent place to be...there are so many wonderful, caring people that you will never run out of support here.

    I can't always understand, but I am always willing to help in any way I can, even if it's just listening. And I can certainly understand what it feels like to be so sensitive...I have the same problems with taking others too seriously at times and getting my feelings hurt too easily. It's hard for others to understand how small things can hurt so much, but I can definitely relate. You're welcome to pm me any time if you ever want to talk. :hug:
     
  9. GhostOfYou

    GhostOfYou Well-Known Member

    yes, SF is a great place to be.
    There are many you'll meet here who are very supportive and friendly and always around when you need someone to talk to :smile:
    also, they've got really cool smilies :starwars:

    Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're going through all this, but I'm glad you're not feeling so bad at the moment.
    It's good to hear that you've found a way to make yourself feel better and realise bad feeling. I read some of your poems on your homepage, they're amasing!! Keep writing, you have a real gift there :smile:

    I wish you the best of luck with theripy, getting better, stopping SH, etc etc. We're all here for you :) Take care

    -GhostOfYou
     
  10. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member


    then comment!!! hehe ill never know what you really think unless you comment on the page! oh n thankies for all the support guys i got to go soon to french lesson but ill hopefully post properly later :D
     
  11. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    hehe i certainly shall pm you thanks for the offer :biggrin:
     
  12. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    hey first time ive found the need to seriously post here, first time ive felt like this in a while. i woke up today and couldnt find a reason to get out of bed so i didnt. this wont get responded to for ages but it doesnt matter. im not worth the effort. i hate myself. this isnt self pitying. i actually do not deserve or have any reason to live.
     
  13. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

    I often feel like I have no reason to get out of bed and just lie there but I do sometimes feel better after I've got up and started moving about. You are worth the effort look I made the effort to reply and I'm lazy, I hope you feel better soon just try to keep yourself busy to take your mind off things.
     
  14. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    yes n how long did it take, n how many replies am i going to get before the library internet timer pushes me off, ill tell you how many, none!
     
  15. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

  16. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    n youll carry on doing this until im offline?
     
  17. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

    ofcourse
     
  18. VengeanceDNS

    VengeanceDNS Active Member

    no you wont
     
  19. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

    oh yes I will
     
  20. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

    Its only because I want to talk to you so lets talk
     
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