Cont'd Part IV.....getting avoided?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by dax, Apr 6, 2015.

  1. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    Well I took the hint and know she's not interested, unless she lost my number or doesn't believe in calling. So t's been 2 weeks since I was there last and on friday mom dragged me on errands and we end up at the resturaunt. She was there in the front talking to coworkers when we walked in but as we got closer she went to the back where the kitchen is and was talking to the cook with her head looking down. Mom and I were looking at the menu cause we wanted to try something new. Then she disappeared to the back. I'm pretty sure she did see us as I thought she glanced our way and it's normal for her to go out of her way to say hi to mom. Well she never came back out and before we left mom asked if she was there and her coworker paused a little caught off guard and said she's in the back. Mom then said oh please tell her i said hi, then we left. My guess is she went to the back cause I was there. I'm probably the creepy customer she wants to avoid now. Oh well :(
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2015
  2. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    I'd say the best thing you can do now is not be that creepy customer, and start looking elsewhere.
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    agreed
     
  4. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    well i'll cut back going there but when i do, if she talks to me i'll just pretend i never asked her.
     
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Itll blow over as long as you plan on doing what you said. Now you know instead of wondering what if ...if that helps. .
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Rejection can be hurtful but also a useful tool to carry into the future. It will help you cope with further issues down the line. You will meet someone right for you, I don't doubt that at all. You are a lovely person, don't change yourself for someone else!! Hugs!! :hug:
     
  7. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    Well I guess it wouldn't have mattered if she were interested, my symptoms are getting worse. But if I miraculously get better, then it's something to learn from.
     
  8. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Ah, the marvelous adventures of dax.

    Dont fret about it and dont start avoiding her. Just treat her like a regular, common everyday person and be cordial. This is, after all, someone you dont know. So you threw her your number and she wasnt interested, big deal. Dont take it personally and start acting ashamed to show your face there anymore. Just be normal and take it as being fine with her having the right to not be interested. Learn to be okay with that. You dont have to hide.

    Youre interested in other things by now. :)
     
  9. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    Well I guess that's the thing Prinn, not having much of a life I have too much free time on my hands. I dont get crushes easily and while I didnt post about the times I was at her work just chatting with her a bit before I attempted, I'm having a little hard time with this one and I dont fully know why. I think it's just been a long time since I've liked anyone at all. I just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to read and respond, I'm still proud I tried.
     
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Just for curious cat in me, what was her age range?
     
  11. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    DrownedFishOnFire ...she is in her early 30's but she is like me in the sense she looks younger.
     
  12. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    You have a new hobby or interest now? It's been a while. Update?
     
  13. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    Well it would be nice to get a date at least, but I've been busy doing other stuff. Gotta hire a lawyer so I can get disability, gotta go find the right questions to ask when I hire a lawyer. , gotta do physical therapy, gotta go get second opinion on my condition and treatment.

    On monday I saw her, i was at a different resturaunt waiting for my order to go, she walked in with her coworker, they were promoting redbull. she had a hat and backpack with the redbull energy drink logo on it. I was sitting to the side behind a partition. She didnt see me, but when she stepped past the partition, she was now less than 5ft in front of me. I didnt walk over tap her shoulder for anything.....just sat that there. Kinda hurt seeing her to be honest, so I just let things be. This must be her new job or second job, I told mom i dont think your friend is there at the resturaunt anymore. mom said she has two jobs...something I didnt know. Oh well. Gonna save up and go on a hike or something through meetup.com soon. Probably go hang out with friend and get some sushi. Another friend of mine wants to go to the city and try speed dating, so I'm waiting on him to get the info. That's pretty much it
     
  14. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    All this is great!

    I am convinced you will find someone.

    One tip: try to appear strong and confident and even a bit dominant. Even if you have to fake it. You have to sell yourself with ladies just like in interviews.
     
  15. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    Ugh, been really hard lately, having trouble with the medications....its reacting with another med and giving me depression. Everything is on hold....a constant thing thats been happening lately.
     
  16. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Dominant? Turn-off. I dont want whatever a guy is "selling". You shouldnt have to put up a facade that has to be "bought". It seems manipulative and dishonest, two traits I disgust in a human being and I can see through these types 100% of the time. I suppose one could fool a starry-eyed 18 year old girl with such bullshit. Not most women.

    Be yourself. Whether they like you or not, youll be true and not another fake. And youll attract true people, not fakes.
     
  17. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I agree with PB. Dominant is a turn off. It was something I liked when younger as I liked the ''bad guys'' but right now it is my biggest turn off. What I'd like is a guy that is not afraid of showing emotions and faking being brave, i feel you'll get a lot more honesty from someone who shows their emotions.
     
  18. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    PB: in the thread about your ideal mate you talk about "disarming presence" and other stuff. It's exactly what I talk about. I understand that you want someone real, but at the same time the man you talk about is quite manly and in most case, we have to "fake" that. It's called seduction.


    And no, acting manly will not necessary attrack someone fake. It's not about being a bad boy, it's being confident and showing the girl that you will be able to take care of her.

    Maybe you two like guys who look weak and will approach them to see what is inside them, but imho you are a rare bread.
     
  19. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    1) Disarming doesnt mean dominant

    2) You went through a thousand of my posts to find something to attack me with?

    3) I dont like men who are dishonest and manipulative, and WHAT YOU said in your opinion about making a woman "buy" you, its like someone making themselves into a false image and no I dont want that and never said I did. Someone "manly" doesnt need to lie nor pretend to be something hes not just to impress some girl. THAT is confidence.

    A disarming presence simply means someone kind and not judgmental who makes you feel comfortable to be who you are without the facade, with all flaws. It does not mean someone who wants to persuade you to believe in a front he's putting up. Thats dishonest. There is nothing seductive about a guy beating his chest like a gorilla and acting distant and bossy so he can seem "dominant" imo. What are we, some helpless damsels to be taken care of like children? What man wants an adult baby for a partner? Maybe thats better left for kinky roleplaying in the boudoir...

    Confidence and pretending are two entirely different things. If youre so confident then you wont need to pretend and wont have to be a seller to be "bought". These are people, not cow markets.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2015
  20. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    1- I agree. The man you described appeared like a strong man to me but i might have misread. Also i admit that using the word dominant was wrong.

    2- I did not went through your posts. I remembered it and went to read it again. It also was not my intention to attack you.

    3- I understand that you want someone real. My point is that most people fake it and it works. Anyway we fake most of our social interaction. I fake not being socially anxious all the time, should i stop visiting my friends? I fake not hating some stupid people, should i start being mean to them?

    I hate seeing good people being alone because they don't have the good approach toward women. I just tried to help
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2015