contemplating a huge decision in my life

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by sadhart, Dec 24, 2011.

  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    in one of last posts here, I said I had a job and it's been good to work. But my cousin who drives me there has been extremely negative about the job since I got....she has been doing this for sometime. If the job isn't what she doesn't think I "need" I shouldn't do it. Finally, on thursday, I got tired of it and got so frustrated I stayed in a hotel for a couple of days to stay away from my family. Then I came to the realization that I want to give them a present in the form of a letter letting them know i am leaving this family and personalized reasons why. I cried at first when I got this idea, but now I feel more ready to do so but I still feel sad.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun please do not do this to your family don't cause such pain and suffering please hun Your cousin must care for you or she would not be in your life hun Please your depression is so bad right now go to hospital call crisis line but do not harm you hun please know that you do not want to pass on this pain hun It is the worst pain loosing someone to suicide hun so please go get some help to stay safe h ugs
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I hear what your you are saying but this is a very selfish whose stupid logic is whoever can do more is right which is bullshit. And it's not about depression dammit but being pissed off like a damn normal person
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    This idea is a release I think but not a healthy one.
    She is a problem. Can you talk to anyone about her?
  5. I understand what you're saying. I've talked about leaving my family many times over the years. Both alive or dead. Leaving dead would be like letting your cousin make you feel so bad you don't want to live. You have a job. I don't know where you live, but I'm in California. Over 22% of the people living here are out of work.

    Remember when you look at unemployment statistics, that number is only calculated by the amount of people receiving a check from the government! Part time workers aren't counted, and the vast majority of people who can't get free money aren't counted! That means whatever the number is in your area, it's really WAY higher!

    After reading what you post, this is how I feel. Your cousin cares about you obviously. However she's making you feel like shit in the process of doing you a favor by helping you get to work. Some people have this asinine assumption that because they are helping you in some small way, they now have the right to pass judgment on, or reconsider your choices. PLEASE know that this is HER problem and not yours.

    It may be hard for you to say something to her. Maybe you could word it along the lines of,"I appreciate you helping me get to work, but would you do me a favor a not make me feel like an ass about it"? Or "Do you think because you're driving me to work, you have some say in what I do"?

    Maybe "I have a job, I'll move up when time permits, I've got enough things worrying me without you fucking with me and pouring gas on the fire"!

    Some people have this preconceived notion that because they're helping somebody, it's ok to act like a tool about it.

    Also this fucking crap about what people "need" is an irrelevant statement. We need bread,water, a few clothes, and a place to get clean, and oh ya....... money to buy that stuff! Everything else is stuff we don't need. We don't need tv, the internet, facebook, smartphones, drugs, alcohol, or most importantly UNWANTED ADVICE. So when people start telling you you don't need something, who the fuck are they to tell you that? I bought an old convertible BMW a few years back. My parents told me I didn't NEED it. I politely told them "Nobody needs a convertible unless they are too tall to fit into a a regular size car" I said "I WANT a convertible, I know the difference between what I need and want. The choice is mine to make, and unless I ask you for your advice, go sit on the toilet and shit it down the drain!"

    The same goes for your cousin. She's probably just thick headed and doesn't even have a clue how she's making you feel.

    I think you will feel relief looking her straight in the face and telling her how you feel. Remember if she doesn't like it, that's her problem and not yours. And YOU can decide what you NEED. If you didn't ask for the opinion, you have every right to let her know.

    Don't do anything you can't change like leaving. Work hard, keep hustling, and look for opportunities under every rock. Hang tough....
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 25, 2011