I am 32 years old. I quit my high paying job six months ago because of major depression, anxiety and stress. I don't have any job now and feel very depressed. I basically had a nervous breakdown. I am very scared now because my apartment lease is running out and I don't know what to do. I feel that by quitting my job I have ruined my life. I don't have a network or a passion for anything. I have no friends. My last boss thought I was crazy I quit, and I think he will give me a bad recommendation because I stopped going to work on time and basically would have been fired if I didn't quit. I don't think I can get a new job in the industry now, and I don't know how to get a new job in any thing else. I am going to see a career counselor, but I don;t know, I am very depressed with very little confidence and lots of anxiety. I do not sleep for more than 4 hours a night for the last two weeks, and wake up constantly. I asked my parents if I could move back in with them, but they are divorced now, and each said no, I am too disruptive. I told them that if I am alone, I am going to kill myself, but they said, that is too bad, there is nothing they can do. They said I can move into an apartment in the city to be near them. I told them, what kind of person am I that even my parents don't want me. Soon I will run out of money and will be homeless. If I sign an apartment with a one year lease and manage to find a new job in a different city, how can I move. But they do not care, so I called the gun store in the new city. Today I called a gun store in that city, and they said <Mod Edit:IrishDoll,Methods> and they will teach me how to use it. <Mod edit:IrishDoll,Methods> because I cannot think of anything better. I will tell my parents, if I am so disruptive, you don't want me anymore, then I won't be around. I told you I need support, but no one wants me, just to watch on the sidelines as I kill myself. I have had thoughts of suicide for the past 15 years, but I have never taken any steps towards it, until today when I called the gunstore. <Mod Edit,IrishDoll:Methods> I have tried counseling and many different medications, but none have worked. I owe my last therapist 1800 dollars. I don't interact well with people and I am afraid of them. I don't see this situation improving and I think it is best just to end things now, before it gets any worse and I cannot even afford a gun.