contemplating suicide need sum1 2 talk me out of it, plz

im cant take this anymore. everything just keeps messing up and im tired going on...i cant take it

 

i know exactly how you feel im like that 24/7 i went to the doctors and they was supposed to refer me to a counsellor i havent heard anything im here for you if you need to talk just p/m me anytime you like as i now how it feels

 

shady9000,

You are very brave for reaching out for help, that takes alot of strength on your part. Many of us have been right were your at now and we can understand your feelings. I hope you can lean on us and let us support you through this difficult time you are having. Suicide is so final, thiers no second chance. You sound like you are very overwhelmed right now and thats hard to deal with. This is a wonderful support community and we have wonderfull caring people here, let us know what we can do to help you out. Feel free to PM me or any of the wonderfull people here on the site if you feel you need to talk to someone one on one. What kind of things have been going on for you lately? What things having been messing up? Please know that you are a worthy person and your doing the best you can......I hope you take good care of yourself and I look forward to hearing more from you....I'll be thinking of you....-Jodi

 

Shady - Im glad you found this forum and asked for help. Im sorta new here so may not have all the stuff you need to hear now, but I can tell you I was at the end of my rope when I found this place, and the people here really truly care and will help guide you to a place where you can start to cope again. It takes time I know. Talk to us, if you don't want to write in the public forum, you can always send me or the others a private message and we can talk that way. It helps a lot to talk about it. Good luck and hope to hear from you.

 

i just don't c the point. everything is just totally messed. and im tired of trying and failing all the time. im tired of disappointing everyone in my life.

 

im even getting fake replies from "moderators"

 

Well I can relate -- I let down some people who had done so much to help me. I took them for granted. But I was emotionally sick at the time and I am now on a antidepressant which is helping tremendously (zoloft/setraline). Now I am able to think clearly, and I am learning that I can only take one day at a time to make my life better, and to repair the damage from the past. I can't go backwards and change things, and I can't wave a wand and have everything be perfect right now -- it takes time. And I am just doing the best I can do for today and today only, and that's all you or anyone can do. Have you talked to a doctor about what is going on? You may need professional help right now, possibly medication to help you get started on your new life. But help is out there, and help is here at this forum too.

 

I hope you will stay safe and keep talking to people here if it helps. It often helps to talk to people who truly understand what we're going through.

You are not getting fake replies. Moderators, Admin, etc. are all real people too. We've all suffered in the past and/or the present.. please don't disregard replies from moderators. We're not replying because we feel we have to.. we reply because we want to.

 

i tried to get on meds b4 i messed up my relationship with my wife and daughter, but the doc didn't find anything wrong with me. even tho ive tried to kill myself maybe or 8 tries b4. i cant even kill myself successfully. and im only on here to stall, i dont wana do it in the day, cuz it would upset some ppl. ive learned from my mistakes, im not gona tell any1 around me what im up. i figure, if i tell u guys, u cant do anything about it. maybe i just want sum1 2 talk b4 i lose my life lol

 

o and i forgot to mention my mother has been diagnosed with cancer...just had 2 add the cherry to this depression sundae

 

Sorry to hear about your mom. Cancer has affected about 6 people in my immediate family so I know how that feels. If you have a family doctor, he/she would surely not mind letting you try an antidepressant. There is a newer one out called cymbalta which is supposed to be very good. I am doing great on zoloft. But if you don't have health insurance which pays for your meds those can be expensive. Perhaps you can check with your local helpline to see if there is a clinic in your area which provides mental health care; sometimes they provide the med at no or low cost also.

 

i live in canada so i dont have 2 worry about health insurance. im pretty sure it would help. but all these docs analyze u 4 weeks b4 they consider helping. ive hospitalized myself maybe 6 or 7 times. i have scars down my entire left forearm. i've lost my will to do anything. eat, wake up, work. i just feel like its pointless. im on here and im only talking 2 ppl who feel better. no1 on here is trying 2 kill themselves this very second? im not trying to xpose them, i just feel alone cuz it seems as tho im the only 1 who isnt on meds

 

You're not the only one who's on meds.

Look at the Medication section for evidence of that

And often, people who are doing badly, low etc, don't feel up to posting a reply to other people's posts :hug:

 

i can assure u im feeling "bad" and "low" the alcohol im dousing my liver in is making feel slightly better. but when that runs out, my times gona b up, cuz im jus gona give up. no1 has tried to help me figure out a solution to any of my probs. i lost my daughter who i cant help support or even c on the regular. i lost my gf/fiance who lives in a different city, i dont have transportation to go c either of them , i dont have a job, im broke, i lost my apartment, no1 calls me back from any of my interviews, i had 2 move back in with my mother (at the age of 21), my mother chews me out over the dumbest and smallest things, she has cancer so i feel like shit if i argue back, i use alcohol as a crutch, i bitch at all of the ppl who care about me until they leave and then i wonder y they leave. i cud use answers 2 any of those. once my alkie is gone, so am i.

 

If I understood you correctly, believe me you aren't the only who is having a hard time right now. There are some members here I am very very concerned about right now whom I haven't heard from in a few days, who are going thru some very hard times. In the USA it is as easy as getting aspirin practically, to get antidepressants I mean. But there may be something in your history that makes the docs hesitate at prescribing them? Did you try to overdose on them at one time? I don't know the details but if you've lost the will to eat, wake up, work etc, that is classic symptoms of depression and there is no reason for anyone to suffer with that these days. I wish I knew what to tell you.

 

yah ive overdosed on pills many times b4 but that was aspirin (which supposedly ,told to me by the paramedics, which wont kill you, but will give u really bad ulcers, which i have) or tylenol took about 50 or 60, but i didnt think to take alkie with them, but i know that now.

 

Do you want to get better, and try to start putting your life back together? Only you can make that choice, and if so, try going back to your doctor and explaining that you are at the end of your rope, and when you get antidepressants, take them as prescribed. Give them to your mom if you need to, to give you only what you are supposed to have. Look you have to start somewhere. You want help or you wouldn't be here. I was in the same boat. It took all the courage I had to turn back from what I had decided to do, and I am very thankful now that I did. I am not turning cartwheels or anything, but I am coping now, and not worrying about what I cannot change. I am just doing the best that I can do, one day at a time.

 

c i would take the meds, but that doesnt mean that all the things i listed b4 r gona b fixed. meds dont give me bak my gf, or my daughter, or any of that stuff. so wuts the point of meds. that'll just mean i'll b stoned and falsely happy with the empty life that i have.

 

can i hear examples of ppls conquests over depression, cuz maybe, maybe if i hear ppl who have been thru stuff and survived, that might motivate me 2 put down my alkie and not get my pills

 

Well, the people who care about you will react positively to you doing whatever it takes to turn your life around. It may not be overnight. You may not get your gf back, I don't know. Relationships like that rarely work the second time if they didn't work the first time. But your daughter will appreciate when she is old enough that you changed your life. And you will appreciate it. And that is what you have to concentrate on right now, just getting yourself well. You can't change the past. But you can say today is the first day of the rest of your life, and make the future different. And somewhere there will be a new girlfriend. But unless you are emotionally and mentally well you can never expect to have a healthy relationship. Like I said, you gotta start somewhere and only you can make that start. And this is a great place to get to know people who can talk to you thru the ups and downs. Then one day, you'll be the one encouraging others to hang in there.