Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by darkplace, Jul 11, 2009.

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  1. darkplace

    darkplace Well-Known Member

    I want to think that he didn't love me. I want to think it didn't happen. But for me this was like butterflys in the stomach, everything. There is a new hole in my heart.

    I sit and think how my heart is dying hypothetically, screwed up and stamped on yet again, also that im worrying myself to death about being jobless, and also what my friends would think of me if they knew i was suicidal. One of my mates sortof knows and shes like i can talk to her anytime. I dont want to stress her out or scare her. If the time comes i want to do it without her knowing.
    What do i do?
    Carry on in this life trying to sort stuff out. Try to better myself. I belive in hororscopes and stuff and apparently by september my life will be good all round. At the moment that seems like crap.
    Im trying to find a job at the moment, whilst trying to mend my broken heart, whilst trying to maintain my smile and a front that says 'im fine, im cheerful just like usual'. But every day that passes its getting so much harder.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just remember the thoughts are just thoughts you want to be here to see what the future brings. The people who stomped all over you they are not worthy of anything and will get their justice in the end. Look to each day as a new beginning take each hour at a time. Some days will be darker than others but live for the days that bring us some light in. I know you are sad right now but i hope you can get through this rough patch with the help from here and others take care heres wishing for some more bright days.
  3. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    hey hun :hug: i'm sorry you're feeling so low!
    love can be hard and losing it can be even harder but please don't hurt yourself because of this. your friend seems nice, perhaps lean on her for support a little more - it can help you a lot to trust someone with this baggage at a time like this. i hope things get better soon and you find a job :smile: thinking of you
    triggs xx
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