I'm in distress. But according to everyone around me, I chose to do this. My ex was extremely emotionally and mentally abusive. When he left, I was so devastated that I refused to leave my room. I failed out of college. I decided to reach out to a friend who suffered from depression for help. And he ended up saying that he just couldn't handle it. I finally got the courage to talk to my crush. And then I realized that he doesn't like me. And probably won't after tonight, when I told him my real feelings. I'm dead inside. I'm in a book that doesn't have a continuing story line after this point. I don't see a future for myself.