CoNtRoL{TrIgGeR}ThOuGhTs

[ari]

what is the control??

am i in control restricting calories?

am i in control when i need running, more running, more running.?

Is it control exercising the minute i have eaten?

or know that i have to exercise to cut the calories in half or more that i have taken in?

Is it control not eating at all?

Is it control when i know i have to push myself more, sweat it all out?

is there control when someone tells me that i am are out of control?

am i in control when I can't hide the bones under baggy clothes?

am i in control when I feel I have to wear weights to the doctors office because I know they are going to weigh me?

Is it control knowing i have to run?

am i in control when i have cramps in my muscles because they are screaming in agony?

am i in control when i am are cold all the time even when it is 90 degree's outside?

am i in control when I feel so dizzy, sick and want to throw up all the time

am I in control when my therapist says that i am out of control and she is concerned....to take my choices away...to tell things to people that i dont want to her but have no choice about it.
losing the control that is so out of control
where is the control

 

[Dita]

~the difference between want and need is selfcontrol~

I wake up every morning,
and that's the first thing that comes to my mind.

I don't know what control is,
but I'm pretty sure
that I have none over anything..

Hope you're doing better

Anna