i'm not quite sure this is the right board to post this in, but would appreciate some advice. i have been on some sort of medication since i was sixteen (i am now 23) and have always had problems taking them regularly. currently i am diagnosed as schizoaffective take 30 mg abilify and 150mg lamictal, as well as 1mg alprazolam and 20mg methlphenidate hcl sr (2 tablets twice a day). my problem is this, recently i began a campaign to take my medications regularly as prescribed. the first month was wonderful, for once, i was happy and had hope for the future. one more month into the meds, it took quite a different turn. while i was still happy, i became so numb to the world and disconnected, tired and slow moving, had trouble concentrating and with short term memory, which my ritalin did nothing to help. this brought on a lot of concern from friends and family who felt i was overmedicated. about a week ago, i once again went off my medicines. for the past two or three weeks, i've been in a constant state of extreme tiredness and yet have been experiencing insomnia. i just feel so hopeless about the whole situation. i'm about to start school on monday and am faced with the fact that i am apparently unable to function with or without my meds. is there anyone else who has had a similar situation? i go back to see my psychiatrist next week and am nervous about making more changes to my currents medications, as i have had bad experiences with that in the past. i suppose i can only hope for the future, but at the current time, i seem to have very little hope left. i just feel like such a failure and waste of space. is there any hope for me?