conversion disorder and what lead me to suicide

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by passionfruit3, Sep 2, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. passionfruit3

    passionfruit3 Member

    I have been mentally sick since family used to fight a lot and id have a meltdown while they fought with my sister or eachother.the fights sometimes got physical and thats when I got my first diagnosis. Conversion disorder. You see during the fights id scream and cry so much I couldn't move afterwards this happened when the fights were really bad.and I wasnt taken to a doctor until one particular fight when my body didnt heal and I couldn't walk for codition got worse even though I was diagnosed (which by the way conversion disorder is a mental disorder caused by a trauma where mental stress is converted to physical symptoms).at times I couldnt walk at times I couldn't lift my hands or did come back the motion but it took awhile.when I was walking my parents I had to listen to threaten to leave me and my brother and one day I went to the cabinet and overdosed.when I awoke the next morning I was disappointed and at that same time heard voices that told me I failed and that I was the evil that had brought my families suffering. They told me I had to die and would help.this set off a chain of suicide attempts and conversion symptoms. I was constantly hoarding my meds and trying to kill myself with them.none of this ever got told to the family wanted everything to appear normal and I wasnt saying anything either until a suicide note got discovered at school.i was rushed to the mental hospital by cop in my wheelchair.when I came out I was diagnosed with psychotic depression.i took my meds but not for seems like ive had a tirade of suicide attempts and hospitalizations which werent fun and I still cant help wondering if they hadnt fought so much, my family . would this still be my be mentally ill to be diagnosed with so much(now bipolar) that I dont know who I am anymore
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    That's a whole lot of suffering for someone to expereince at a young age. I am really sorry to read everything you have been through.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    A dysfunctional family of course can bring on so much trauma mentally to a child and perhaps if you had a stable life you would not be so suicidal but the past is past ok time to heal now.
    Time you look after you and take medication and go to therapy and find a path to some peace.
    Hugs to you
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.