Let me be blunt: I am not depressed and I am not sad In fact Im a pretty happy person, the kind of guy who is walking down the street with a smile on his face, goes out grabs a couple beers with family and friends. But I have a little gift that splits me from the litter. I can think... alot. I can think to the point were no man (I know or have seen) has or ever will think. And my specialty is philosophy. Im pretty proud of this, but at the same time it causes a bit of trouble for ezample Im forced to live out my past and future every quiet moment; that means I have to relive every one of those awkward high school moments and even elementary school. Woo boy it kinda sucks. But... For the most part Ive lived with it, up until a few days ago. Fun times were had and I found out that all those things that I thought that I was thinking logically and with such clarity were actually not logical or clear. I hit the conclusion that the one thing that kept me from really hating myself was that one proud side of my affliction. Well now thats gone and frankly I dont have anything to live for. Im no drama queen Ive been through the deepest crap. You name it, from bad break ups, deaths, injuries, witnessing murders, being in a war. All happend. I felt really bad after but I always pulled myself back up and looked forward. This new thing though has basically hit home, and I dont see a purpose with living with the anoyance of having to feel nothing all the time and reliving my past. Im sorry if I come off as an arrogant jerk, but the fact is that Ive spoken to family and friends and asked them bluntly if I had anything to live for (after explaining in greater detail what I explained above) and they all agreed with me. Does anyone agree with them? Try to think clearly, Im not gonna be that life YOU saved. So with that just answer honestly.