"Cool" Cutting

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Lost Disciple, Jan 27, 2010.

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  1. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this phenomena in high school. There were the set group of 'emo' kids and other down-and-outs who you knew cut and rumors spread fast and everyone in the school heard about their suicide attempts and either ridiculed or pitited them. That I believe is pretty normal.

    What was odd was there were a few of my friends who did it who weren't exactly POPULAR--that is, they weren't in the 'in' crowd--but who weren't well-liked my most people and pretty well off in general, and they also cut. And the weird thing is that they didn't hide it at all. It wasn't by any means that they were showing it off or they were proud of it; sometimes they wore clothes that concealed, sometimes they didn't. They honestly didn't give a fuck and if anyone did mention it the most that was said was "What's that?" and one of them would be like "Oh, I got in a fight with my mom last night so I played tic-tac-toe on my arm with a kitchen knife" and people didn't ask often. And people didn't talk about it behind their backs. THEY didn't care to hide it, so nobody else cared that they were doing it.

    The title of the thread's a little misleading, cuz it wasn't a trend or anything. I was just wondering if anyone else ever experienced the kids who weren't ashamed of SHing and weren't made fun of for it either?
  2. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    In HS back in 2002, there was a group of people who did cut and were really well off rich kids that did it because it was popular and considered a trend, which in reality pissed me off because it overshadowed the problems that real kids with real problems faced. School put a stop to it after a kid who had some major issues went overboard on his neck and bled to death, and everyone ignored him because they thought he was well off and crap. Although I think the whole concept of "Cutting to be Cool" is by far the dumbest thing kids do nowadays to get attention.
  3. Tray

    Tray Well-Known Member

    Im not sure where your going with all this. I suppose i kinda know what you talking about but i saw things a bit differently.

    First off sure you can notice the people who are always seem to be barely alive. You never know if they are gonna be there tomorrow or not. I wouldnt describe them as emo or un popular cause thats never the case.

    I really dont know how to say this

    Everyone has there own reasons for what they do. In my experience there is no specific group or catagory of person who (popular, un popular) who does this. Ive seen it everywhere. From the people who like i said always seemed half living, to those that were "popular" and seemed to have it all. You cant justify why or catagorize who does it cause simply everyone is different.

    Now then while some poeple do it and hide it. Others have no trouble displaying it. I personaly have no trouble displaying mine. I made them to express myself and well.. for my own personal enjoyment. People ask me all the time cause mine are well..... too noticeable. I always just tell the truth. if they cant understand my logic or reasoning then whatever. Im not ashamed and dont see a reason why i should. WHy should i be? Im far above the opinions of those who cant realize that there is no norm.

    You asked if i experienced seeing people like this and well yes i have and i too do this. Now i wanna know how you feel about it. Whats your reasoning for the topic. To me it sounds like you think anyone who cuts should be ashamed of it, and fit snuggly in a specificaly defined catagory.
  4. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I've seen some bullies "cut" themselves in the hallway just to ridicule and humiliate another cutting student (she was, luckily, not present at the time). That's one of the most disturbing sights I've ever had in my entire life.
    I was disgusted and felt humiliated as well, as I could've been the one they talked about myself as I did cut at that time, I just didn't show it off.
  5. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    I knew someone who did this. She would cut, and almost brag about it, and point out her scars to everyone. The only way I was sure it was 'cool cutting' was because she never did it before and hasnt done it since she left school.

    I am fine with people who legit sh to be comfortable with their scars, but I dont know a cutter to go around bragging about it.
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I kind of understand bragging about it, in a way, if you're that starved of attention. It's not something that I'd ever do though. All it does is bring a really bad name to those who don't do it for attention. And I already cop enough flack behind my back from the teachers who know that I harm myself -- it's not something that I'd want to extend to the students too.

  7. Tray

    Tray Well-Known Member

    reading everyones posts.. It just seems to me that your all trying to say that there certain reasons why you should cut. That only those who have mental pain have justified reasons to cut.

    Why is that? Why is that the only reason that can be considered acceptable. Self harm is not directly linked to mental instability. It doesnt matter your reasons for doing it, wether for attention or not.
    so what if someone whats to brag about it? It just seems like your jelious or something. whats the big deal. Why do they have to be starved of attention to want to show off your scars. to some they are like tattoos. Made to mark specifically tough times in theyre lives. I made scars like these and had no trouble showing people.

    Well usually people asked to see my big ones after seeing the smaller ones on my forarms. But either way i had no trouble showing it.

    I dont see how you can judge other peoples actions. What you see isnt always the truth. Some people like to destroy themselves with drugs and alcohol and show off how much they enjoy it when deep down there are serious issues they need help with. And then sometimes there is no issues and they just like having fun. Either way who are we to judge.
  8. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    I wasn't trying to sound prejudiced or judging in any way, but you do realize that stereotypes usually become such for a reason, and the reason why would be that most kids who cut fit a certain typing-- I called them 'down-and-outs' (I did mention emo but that's just cuz there WERE some who got into the whole black-angsty-angsty-angst thing and thought it was cool, THAT was the trend) and you referred to them as 'the people who are always seem to be barely alive' (your typo);
    My point was that for the most part people who cut followed a certain pattern--the guilt, the shame, and the self-loathing spiral that led them to try to conceal what to everybody else was after a certain point painfully obvious and they usually fit with a certain small but maintained 'clique'. Not too many friends, at least not too many good ones, because the SH would lead them to pushing many of them away. This is not to say that there weren't any well-off or upperclass kids who SHd--there were--but people would mention them and say "Remember when they used to be the coolest kid in school? What happened?" because at some point or another they wouldve driven away many of their friends with the same psycho-social behavior trends which would eventually lead them to self-harm.

    You seem to be under the impression that I'm speaking in absolutes, of 'emo' and 'uncool' kids. That wasn't the reference I was trying to make. I was attempting to appeal to the 'truer' stereotype of self-harm that the class clown AND class flirt from his graduating class, one of the kids with the most friends in the school, the one EVERYONE wanted at their parties, me, if you didn't already catch that drift, could truly know and understand. The behaviors that regularly set us apart even if the others don't realize. We can usually identify another of our kind BECAUSE of the stereotypical behaviors and attitudes we have. That's not to say that there AREN'T those who are different or that everyone ALWAYS acts these ways, but the stereotype, i believe, is there for a reason.

    In conclusion I believe the reason you misinterpreted so much from my post is because you are one of the very kids I just described, in attitude if not in popularity. I hadn't encountered this until the tail end of my high school career and while thinking back on it the other day I realized how out of place it seemed to me, causing to curiousity to see how widespread the phenomena was.

    Yeah, I'm too lazy to go back and spell-check/proofread that, sorry
  9. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    i dunno how old you are but you have to understand high school culture. everything, everything gets extrapolated -- especially gossip and even more so in a small school. if you dont want life to be a misery, you have to, HAVE to keep stuff like this quiet under the rug.

    im not saying that others dont have reasons -- they can and do. but it just makes it harder because the ones that brag get heard first and so it's people's ONLY opinion of self harmers and they dont listen to anyone else telling them otherwise.

    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2010
  10. Tray

    Tray Well-Known Member

    Okay.. All im getting from this is that you believe that people who self harm fit in this stereo type somewhat if at all. Well okay thats fine to believe that. Sure go ahead with that.
    But whats the point? Are you saying that if people see that self harming isn't always about hard life issues, depression, and emotional pain, theyre just not gonna care? That theyre gonna think that everyone just does it for fun and likes it?

    I just don't understand why the stereo type must be maintained. Why does matter what why or how other people do things. People cut for fun, for attention, for happy feeling, to relieve themselves, and for the hell of it. I known this cause ive know alot of people. If some one is more open or very open about themselves there is nothing wrong with that. Let them show off all they want.

    If your so worried that them putting them selves out like that is ruining the image or building a stereo type of others then get out there and voice your opinion. If you feel like your not being heard, well, its probably cause your not saying anything.
  11. iceblink

    iceblink Member

    It's not really what you were talking about in your original post.
    But there was a period of time in middle school when it was cool in my group of friends and everyone experimented with it. I did it before it was cool and I was like, "sweet that adds extra coolness without any effort at all!"
    Then I still did it after it was cool, but I think by that time it was coolness-neutral so it was alright. Being cool for a while was pretty cool.
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