hi. i'm a new member, but this is not the first stage of my life that i've felt suicidal. it hits me every once in a while. a year ago i had the same problem, but circumstances were different, and it's worse now. times have been tough with my family, but my mom is gathering her strength again. my brother just got out of the teen psych ward at the hospital. he was there for two months for a drug induced psychosis. he was only smoking pot and shrooms but a lot of it i guess.... my mom told me she was suicidal two months ago. i lied, i begged, and i made promises just to prevent her from doing anything drastic. things are calm now. my parents are divorced, and for a while my mom and dad were fighting about my brother about who was a more unfit parent. my dad was blaming her for everything. my mom, my brother and i are all on anti-depressants now. i've felt so down lately. i haven't done anything with my time. i keep wanting to do myself in. i'm surrounded in sadness. i have one friend, busy and preoccupied with her boyfriend. i'm all alone. and i'm not going to tell my mom. she just managed to get away from that sort of thing. i have to convince her i'm okay, but i don't know how. i'm scared for the future. i just assume that the worst will happen, and no matter what, i feel like i'm a burden to everyone and a waste of flesh. i need to cope, convince my family i'm okay, and get on with high school. what do you guys use to cope? i need all the help i can get right now. thankyou.