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Could it be true?

Discussion in 'Midnight Owl' started by Avarice, Jan 31, 2010.

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  1. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    So last night I had a rather strange dream. It was about my ex-boyfriend; he was at my house and I think we'd been fighting because we weren't really talking to eachother and I think he was angry at me. I often shout and rage at him for every little thing I doubt him on, and he was getting fed up of it pretty bad in this dream. So then I was sitting on one of my living room sofas watching TV when he walked in with a brunette girl. He lay down on the sofa and she snuggled up next to him. I tried not to look at them, but it was a bit difficult giving it was right in front of my face and they were making noises with their talking. Then he wanted a drink, so she sat up and gave him a kiss before he went. She then walked off into my brothers room where my brothers ex-fiance was on the computer, and they were looking at clothes I think. I ran off into my bedroom to cry but he was on my bed sipping his drink, so I had to sit on my mum's bed instead. He was talking away to himself, and I really wanted to say something to him but I knew I'd just end up shouting and screaming and crying. I went back into the living room to sit on the sofa in peace but my ex-boyfriend came back in and he sat on a dining room chair. I was so angry and hurt that he had brought this ***** (sorry for the bad language but I seriously do not like any girl that goes anywhere near him. |=) into my house and was rubbing it in my face that I went up and slapped him across the face, but he put his hands up and I missed. I shouted at him that he was a liar and all sorts of other names, and then ran back into my room and hid amongst my bed covers (my bed was for some reason covered in bed covers). Then my mum came in with some doctor and was talking about my 'condition' and how I need serious help. I was confused but slightly relieved as I thought she'd finally realised I have anxiety and had decided to do something to help me. I went along with what the doctor was saying about medication and treatments, feeling happy that I'd start getting better but then I read the condition written along the top of the list of treatments I'd need and it said 'anorexia'.

    That was when I woke up. I don't really know what to make of the dream.. I've had dreams in the past of my (now ex) boyfriend cheating on me with other girls or talking to certain people he knows he's not allowed to speak to, and then literally a few days later it has come out that he had cheated and spoken to that person/those people. It's made me fear any dreams I have of him because they might be true again. I know he wouldn't techniqually be cheating since we're not together, but it would still affect me pretty badly if he was seeing someone else and he knows this. I know I can't control his life or tell him not to see anyone, but the way my dreams have often come true regarding him in the past worries me. :sad:

    EDIT: I should probably say something about the relationship I have with my ex. The term 'ex-boyfriend' implies a closed chapter; previous relationship. But that isn't how it is for us. We both still love eachother very much, we both keep in contact, we both go crazy when the other one has a delay in their reply because we worry that the other is talking to someone else of the opposite sex, we still fight like a couple, we still treat eachother like a couple. We're practically the same as we were when we were dating, it's just that we're not actually dating. Maybe this explains my feelings a bit more and why this dream has worried me.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2010
  2. Escapist

    Escapist Well-Known Member

    Seeing what we've been through together. I can understand the difficulties you have with these kind of dreams. Though there trully isn't anyone else. Dreams can show what we fear the most, and let that get the better of us.

    Seeing how I've behaved in the past, you have every right to doubt my actions, I'm not holding a grudge towards you for that. I deserve that treatment. Though try to understand that i'm not wanting to be with someone else. It's only you, I wish to be with, spend my life with and grow old with. And that won't change, even if you would move to someone else.

    I just wished I could comfort you at night, that you didn't have to go through these fears. This distance makes trusting me all the more difficult, and all I want is to make it easier for you. Hence that you could have the space you needed, or have the experience to be with someone else.

    My intention isn't to be in your way. Though you have to understand that my feelings for you aren't lied or made up. I love you very very much. I wouldn't be able to love someone else, as all the love I have is spend on you. If we ever permanently break up and say goodbye, then that's it, though i'll remain on loving you, and spend the remainder of my life on my own.

    I love what we have. I know that we have problems and often end up arguing. Though when it comes down to it, we can always rely on eachother. Especially in real, and with a bit of luck i'll be living there in a few months.

    Though sorry, for having treated you so horribly in the dream you've had. I've no control over my actions in one's dream, even though I wished I had. >_<
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