Could just as well not even exist

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by blackfire, Dec 21, 2006.

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  1. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    It can only get worse and when I thought I was at rock bottom, it just got deeper. My parents are strongly suggesting I work full time and finish college. They want me out of their house after moving back in a few months ago. No one truly wants me around....not even my own parents. Not to mention it is the holiday season and as objective as I am to the Christmas season. I would think somebody would be glad to see me.

    I am a mess...haven't shaved in a month. I sleep all the time (now that winter break is here). The more I think of it the more death appeals to me. Maybe dying near Christmas would make my family think for once.

    My body is worn out and my mind is tired. Can somebody call me eternally home. Take the burden of life off of me and allow me to see the dark after the light.
     
  2. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    You know, I don't really know what to say because what you said is how I feel right now... but I do want to say this.
    A lot of people get depressed around the holiday season... I know I sure do. There are a lot of suicides around christmas from people just like us too...
    Don't kill yourself just because you feel like nobody cares... please.
    I for one do care...
    I care about you because I can understand what you're going through...
    I'm homeless because my dad won't let me live with him until I get ID and a social insurance number so I can work.
    Anyway, theres a lot of things you can do... try talking to your family about how you feel. Try doing more and you'll feel more like people care because people will be talking to you...
    I really dont know much but I hope I helped... although Im sure I didn't... I usually don't.
    Anyway... PM me if you want.
     
  3. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    At the rate I am going, I maybe homeless too. I can hardly afford college let alone anything else. When I get doen I will be in major debt and the job market is not good. At that point I don't know if it would be better to roam the streets or be dead. Sorry I am negative at the moment. As I mentioned in your post I am glad I am healthy, that is a positive.
     
  4. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    The title says it all. And holds true. Nobody cares, so why should I.
     
  5. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    because i care. pm me, i´m here hun
     
  6. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    you are the only one that cares. i just get the third degree from everyone. i am crazy and about to just go for it. i would never look back....nobody truely cares...they never did and never will.
     
  7. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your situation fire:sad: ,can I ask do you really have to leave home?I do care for you honestly I'm alway's here to discuss whatever you like,all I can suggest is try your best not to get overexcited about thing's as hard as it is.
     
  8. Multiple Man

    Multiple Man Well-Known Member

    Death would be the gift that last for eternity.
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    How much longer do you need to go to school? I know working and college can be difficult to get through at the same time. Is it possible to live on campus? I would hate to see you hurt yourself blackfire. People do care about you. We must search until we find the solution. One is there if we can only find it. Take care. :hug:
     
  10. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    blackfire is gone for a while, i miss him so much, i feel uselesss becuase i couldn´t help him the way he helped me, i would like to talk to him again so much. but i come here and realize that he isn´t here..
     
  11. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    gentle lady

    There is no on campus housing at the college i attend. i am looking for work at teh moment. what is worse is that my checks never made it to the bank. god only knows where they are at or what happened. it all jsut wears me down.
     
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