Hi, I 'm living in the Worst City in Asia at present, going through a massive suicidal depression. It is 9 pm here and so I am going to bed in a few minutes, so please don't be upset or offended if I don't reply for 5 hours. I want death. I can't be at home. At work I keep it together, but I'm afraid the facade will eventually crack. I see an Australian therapist twice a week via Skype. After a year and a half he tells me that I didn't effectively communicate to him the extent of my problems - that I really loathed myself. I've recently made probably the worst decision of my life (and that's saying something). He was trying to guilt me all through our session tonight. He was also the first therapist that I could work with... everyone else either threatened me or treated me like a total waste of their precious time. Should I just ditch this guy and carry out my plans to die? I would not want to die in this hated country - I would get rid of all possessions first, take my small savings and head off for a last spree before I go, so I am not talking anything precipitous, although I have to actively keep myself out of my flat so that I don't self harm.