Now, I’ve had people suggest the idea of bipolar to me but I’ve always insisted, I’m not bipolar I’ve never had a mania or hypomania attack. But reading through other peoples experiences of hypomania has made me question that. Typically my year tends to follow a pattern… I spend about 3-5 months (august-december last year) severely depressed. Then I spend 4 months or so recovering, being mostly okay but when something sets me off I can easily slip back into the suicidal depression for a few hours, just as bad as it used to be. However then when I’m finished recovering I have the most amazing few months. I can feel on top of the world, I look in the mirror and see the most beautiful person in existance rather than during my depression seeing a reflection that made me wanna kill myself. I get such an aura of arrogance where I just love myself and sometimes I genuinely believe that I am fantastic and one of the most brilliant people in the whole world. I am usually so so very happy and my self esteem is impossibly high and I am the complete opposite to what I was like in my depression phase. During this time my self esteem and motivation is so high that I usually get a boyfriend and have the most perfect start to a relationship and the guy really falls for me. I usually take up a new hobby, in the past this has included karate, skateboarding, cycling, learning instruments, voluntary work (I started volunteering for the Samaritans at the start of one of these periods) and those hobbies usually don’t last when depression takes back over. Then after the few months I get of that I just suddenly come crashing down into the depression again, sometimes for no reason whatsoever, ruining my life completely and then the cycle starts over. Now I know you’re all not medical professionals or whatever, but I just wanted some opinions before I went to one about this. I don’t wanna come across as a hypochondriac even though I may well be. I don’t have a decreased need for sleep or anything and it’s not like I’m running around all over the place or anything, I am just so very happy and have such an increased self esteem to the point where it feels unnatural, much higher than anyone else around me. Thanks for the input. Kazine.