Could this be the end?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cute_Angel_Xx, Dec 11, 2010.

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  1. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    :hugtackles:Could this be the end?

    I have battled with my life for so long in so little time, I wish I could end it, I have plans and know everything I'll waste and leave behind, but I wouldn't care tbh. I just want to die that all I want, I feel like running away, far away as far away from home as possible I hhate battleing everyday at home :(

    I feel as thouugh I'm not wanted any where ppeople tell me to go and kill myself or die in a hole why haven't I yet? I sooooo badly want to end my sstupid life :(
  2. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Hi Abi,
    I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Have you spoken to a doctor? What has happened in your life to make you feel like this? Can you talk about it with us?
    Sending hugs,
  3. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    I have so much on my mind it's killing me inside I just want all the pain to go away I don't want to live like this no more it's to hard all the physical and emotional abuse all the voices in my headd my depression it seems so hard to sleep I have isomnia. I just want to attempt something don't care if its stupid I want to run away I spoke to ChildLine earlier who helped a bit, but only left me with cutting again, I'm to young :( I hate life, I want out so bad.
    I can't deal with my problems, I wont speeak tto my CAMHS worker I wont talk to my social worker or GP, I'm in tears for no reason I used to be able to handle stuff like teasing now I just break and end up crying :( x
    I'm pathetic
  4. NaomiP

    NaomiP Member

    sorry you are feeling this way. I'm rather new to the community but feel free to PM me if you want to chat. Please don't let some idiots heartless statement's shorten your life. Know that you are a significant.

  5. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    I joined 2 day's ago, so I'm pretty new to, thanks for your reply. But I just can't handle comments such as that weather they call me fat ugly ccow oor phsyco I hate it and I just eend up being all emotional about it :( x
  6. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    if some people call you names, fuck them. thats no reason to kill yourself, you wont have them with it. next time when that happens, kick them in the nuts

    hey if you need a shoulder to cry on, you´re welcome here. whats your name? im patrick
  7. NaomiP

    NaomiP Member

    Your wlc.

    I know some people can be horrible. You just have to keep fighting and finding the strength to live on, coz that's when you beat them.
    They don't think you can be strong but what they don't know is that you are strong, even more so than them.

    I listen to this song when people give me hard time and I want to share it wit ya:)

    "I am beautiful no matter what they say
    Words can't bring me down
    I am beautiful in every single way
    Yes, words can't bring me down
    So don't you bring me down today

    "cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
    Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
    We are beautiful in every single way
    Yes, words can't bring us down
    Don't you bring me down today"
  8. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I always find it sad that so many people don't like themselves yet I think they're great. But when I don't like myself I don't see myself as being great. But we're not that different.

    You know those people who call you are wrong, and you know that you're better than that. Hey, I've known lots of people who've been really popular, had lots of friends, but when shit has happened to them, everyone deserted them. So you have to ask yourself, 'Would I desert my friends?' and if the answer is "no", well then you're better then all of them.
  9. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    It's my siblins and its not just that, I'm fighting with depression abuse neew name new school new social worker, I hate change it seems so hard :(
    And thanks for you input guys v.useful :)
  10. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    There will come a time when there are good things in your life, a friend or a partner. And you will realise how important and precious these things are. But many people don't realise this, because they take so much for granted.
  11. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    I'm thinking about running away, I can'tt sleep even though its getting late for me as I am only 13, I have so many plns why don't I just go with them ? I don't deserve help I don't deserve a life I've had enough :'( x
  12. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Can you imagine who you would want to be when you're say 30?
    What's stopping you becoming that person?
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Angel, you're only 13. You're way too young to start thinking about ending your life. You're not even in high school yet. Please get help hun. :hug:
  14. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    You've mentioned a CAMHS worker and a social worker and not being able to talk to either. I can understand how hard that must feel but want you to please let them help you. As your sw is new to you, I suggest you talk to your CAMHS worker.
    Is there anyone that you can stay with - other family or friends - that can give you the break you clearly need?
    Stay on sf and get support from here too. X
  15. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    Yeah, I'm going to a stupid poor hobo begging for money, my mum said I would not get a decent job can't imagine a parthner or having kids :(
  16. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    I'm in year 9, so I'm in high school, you start high school at 11 years old :) I just don't think lifes worth living no more why can't I take my own advice :(
  17. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    I've been through 3 social workers 3 cousellers 2 who were unable to handle me or cope, I hate my new social worker fot some reason I've only met her once and I hate her :(
  18. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Hi Hun,
    I'm sorry that I couldn't get back to this thread earlier.
    Okay. Let me see if I've got this right:
    You're 13?
    You're having problems with your family? Is this why social services are involved? (You don't need to answer these questions if you don't want to but it would be helpful to know more. You can pm me if that makes you feel more comfortable)
    You've just moved to a new school?
    You're fighting with your siblings and mother?
    Are your siblings older or younger?

    I think the biggest problem that you've got at the moment Abi is that you're 13. That's a horrible age to be. Your body is changing and the hormones are going manic and you have no control over it whatsoever. The best thing about being 13 is that it only lasts for a year. I hated being 13.
    In fact those early teenage years are a nightmare all around. They do end though. It doesn't last forever and you have to hang on until it passes. Then you get to go and do what you want and stuff anyone who told you that you'd never make it.
    I don't know if you're on meds or not but you should certainly be learning coping strategies. We can help with that.
    What have your support team (social worker etc) said to you and what have they suggested?
  19. The Unforgiven

    The Unforgiven Well-Known Member

    hey sweetie :hug:
    you know if you look around you, you'll be astounded by the cruelty that people are capable of.. and its baffling how the same race can have people who are infinitely kind.. maybe you've seen all the wrong sort in life, but dont let that get you down babe.. youre just starting out, theres so much life ahead of you.. just weather this phase through, give yourself that chance. you owe it to yourself.. i know making it through abuse isnt easy and doesnt get easier if youve been in it a long time , but hang in there... and if it helps we're all here for you!!.. :hug: :hug:
  20. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed


    Thanks for responding :)
    Yes I'm 13, social services got involved because ChildLine brokee confidentiallity on me, they thought I was in danger, which I was. I'm the newest in my year group still, I have 1 older siblings and 2 younger, my oldest sister starts it, my youunger 2 fellow behind. I haven't started my body changeing, I haven't starteed puberty and hoping not to start soon, now I'm scared to be getting older :s, yeah I'm on meds x
    My CAMHS worker did discuss strategies to help me cope like to football and keep myself distracted. I have regular sessions with Vicki, once a week...Try and talk but don't manadge to :( x
    Thanks for taking your time to reply :)
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