Could this get any worse?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by claycad, Jul 18, 2007.

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  1. claycad

    claycad Well-Known Member

    I stopped taking my meds a few weeks ago for financial reason (couldn't afford to fill the script). My therapist is on maternity leave and won't be available until September and yesterday my father unexpectedly died of a heart attack.

    Right now I am handling things very well, which scares me. I feel like it hasn't hit me yet, and when it does finally sink in it is going to be really really bad.

    Of course it's not like I hadn't expected it. He was 65 (not too old by today's standards) but he smoked a pack and a half a day for the past 45 years, he had neuropathy, high cholesterol, and once had a stroke several years ago. The worst part is worrying about my mom. I don't know how she will be able to handle living alone when I go back to college in the fall. I'm also worried about her finances. My dad was always one to be well prepared, so I hope he was for this, but I'm not sure. She has no income of her own, and was entirely dependent on his retirement and disability.

    Anyway, just wanted to vent and look for some advice on how to handle this and prepare myself for when it really sinks in that he's gone.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    So sorry to hear this :sad: :hug:
    I would think it won't really sink in until after the funeral, at the moment you probably have loads of practical stuff to deal with..that and supporting your mum.
    When it all calms down and you feel it hit, have a really really good cry, rant, rave..whatever you want. So much better to let grief aids the healing process.
    Feel free to pm me if you want to let off some steam and want a friendly ear.

    Again, my sympathy for your loss :hug:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear about your father. The first few days you are kind of numb. There are so manythings that have to be done you are also distracted. Afetr the funeral it seems you thaw out and reality sets in. You said you are worried about your mom and finances. Will she still recieve your dads disability and retirement? Usually at least a portion of it goes to the survivng spouse. You and your mom both need time to grieve in your own ways, but you also need to be supportive of each other. Don't try to carry the burden alone and don't be afraid to grieve. You will be in my thoughts. :hug:
  4. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. But you are going to get through this in one piece, I can just tell by the way you write that you have a lot of strength and will be okay. Grief is tricky, and it might sneak up on you, but you can handle it.

    Again, I am very sorry to hear about your father. I hope you can find ways to take care of yourself during this difficult time for you and your family.

    Peace and Love,

  5. asdf212

    asdf212 New Member

    You know as well as anyone here, for every "good day," "moment of control," or "happiness" there soon comes the opposite of that, but in double the dose. You think you've stopped the train? You can never stop it. It goes in an endless circular cycle.
  6. ParasiteMarsh

    ParasiteMarsh New Member

    If you are handling things very well but are off your meds, doesnt that mean that you dont even need the meds?
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