I wrote about this in my diary but I really want an answer on this because I'm being told all of this every single day pretty much and now it's to the point where even I'm wondering whether it could be true or not. I have a number of different mental issues...depression, anxiety, Borderline and Avoidant Personality, and my husband has apparently come to the following conclusion about it all. This basically sums it up: He said the only way someone could really care about someone like me is if they hurt me. Cause if they're not hurting me, that just means they're lying and telling me what they think I want to hear to shut me up because my expectations are too big. And I gotta pick either one or the other, cause apparently it's impossible for me to have both someone who doesn't hurt me and genuinely means the things they say. I'm impossible not to hurt because I'm just a nutcase. Therefore, any time I do get hurt is my own fault. This includes any words or phrases I might find hurtful, as well as any time someone acts in a way I find offensive or hurtful. All of that is my fault because I misinterpret things and take them as being hurtful and get upset about things that I shouldn't...no, scratch that...don't have the right to be upset about. Just as well, all of my doubts and concerns about people possibly lying to me or hurting me are my own fault too, and when I speak of them aloud I shouldn't expect reassurance because it makes me a selfish asshole to do so, and said person feels interrogated. Also, when I try to keep those doubts and concerns buried inside, yet I cant handle how having to do that is making me feel, and I start to look upset, I'm a selfish asshole for that too because looking upset is also affecting said person. Could all of that really be true and I'm just too delusional to see it?