Counting the gap between overdosing. Counting the gap between overdoses has become a real problem, as when I count my mind expects the action again in the same amount of time gap repeated. I have overdosed 3 times this year the last 2 being classed as life threatening. Last one being two months ago was in resus for 4 hours and then one to one nursing in ICU. I can't get out of my head that's it's been two months again, thoughts that I have to do the same again that 'it's due'. This is on top of sudden and general urges to overdose. That whatever is going on any more than X amount of months is too much and not good enough. I don’t how to get past this and really finding it hard to. 2 months is the current time frame but if kept this up people say I won't make the new year. When I overdose like that it's a gamble let nature choose type thinking. It's now 2 months I feel such guilt for not having done anything yet.