Court :O

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Apr 7, 2007.

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  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am so nervous and mad and scared and nausious. I am mad at myself but so many feelings, I want to cut already again. They are making me go to court with my husband to finalize the divorce. There was abuse involved. I don't want to go, and Ia have to because of a technicality. :dry: :eek:hmy: :blub: I want to just cut deep, I've been trying not to but I need to be punished. I'm a bad person, I left my husband. I know he hurt me and it was impossible for me to live there, I still... I feel it's my fault. I ruin everything. I am such a evil person.
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Try and rationalise it honey.

    Remind yourself that he hurt you, he abused you, you left to be safe.

    Yes, you can take responsibility for making yourself safe, but that certainly does not deserve punishment, it deserves praise and pride.

    Could you maybe do the court thing via a video link or something? So you don't actually have to go? If you do have to go take something 'safe' like a bracelet, and have it around your wrist, or hold it, to help you stay calm, and feel safe and keep grounded.

    What exactly have you ruined? As far as I can work out he ruined your marriage by abusing you, so what did you ruin?

    What will cutting achieve? Nothing really. Fight the urge as much as you can, use elastic bands, or ice, try to release your emotion in a more positive way. But if you do do it, then make sure that you get medical advice if necessary.

    :hug:
     
  3. beautifuloblivion

    beautifuloblivion Well-Known Member

    Aw, Carolyn...:hug:

    You are NOT an evil person at all. Please don't hurt yourself...you haven't done anything wrong.

    Like Scum said, it was your husband who ruined your marriage by hurting you. Leaving him took a lot of strength and courage, and you should be proud of yourself. There's no reason to cut or punish yourself in any way.

    You're one of the sweetest, most caring people I know here on SF...please take care of yourself. I know that going to court will be difficult, but you'll make it! :cheer:

    Stay safe. :hug:
     
  4. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    I would say you were about the least evil person I've ever come across, Carolyn! :angel: I can't say try not to worry about it, because I imagine that would be impossible, but please remember that we are here for you. :hug:
     
  5. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Carolyn, what would you say to someone in your position? Would you tell them that they're a bad person that needs to be punished? I'd think not.

    I'm fair sure you know this deep down, but you are NOT a bad person, not in the least bit evil at all. You did the right thing by leaving your husband - he was abusive.

    I really hope that you don't cut. :hug:

    TDM
     
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Hey hun, I hope court went okay and I just want to send you some big virtual hugs :hug: :hug: :arms: :hug:
     
  7. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    You would probably be cutting and hating yourself a lot more were you to remain with his abusiveness. Your better off facing this transitional period of pain while you free yourself from your repression and woes.
     
  8. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Ditto all of the above.

    Carolyn you are an amazing person and we all love you to bits! :arms:

    Don't forget that we are all here for you, and you should post how you're feeling whenever you feel it might help.

    Let me know how you're doing.

    Take care.

    :hug: :hug:

    x x x
     
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