Keeping something buried isn't the best way to heal from it. I know that what you've probably gone through is something that will leave scars that will never stop opening up at times. However, the best thing I can say for you is to get into something that makes you feel empowered, something that makes you feel strong.
When people hurt me as a kid I didn't bury what they did. I used it to push myself to become stronger and make sure nobody could hurt me anymore. It made me feel stronger, less vulnerable and it helped some of the pain to go away. There's a lot of easy ways to feel empowered. A knife, a gun, heck even a good night stick. Practice with it, learn how to use it to defend yourself.
You can change what happened in the past, but sometimes putting up a shield to keep it from happening again can in turn put a bandage on the wound.