Thats what i am. a coward.. a fucking pathetic weasel of a coward. i'm so pathetic i dont even want to use my own name. I'm scared though. And sad. I don't even know why I'm sad. well ok, there's heaps of reasons why I could be sad right now, but theres heaps of reasons i shouldnt be. i'm being so ungrateful, moping around all day. Its worthless. fucking worthless. everyone's telling me to make choices, but i don't know what I want. I'm constantly being told not to waste my life, that i have sooo much ahead of me. i guess thats fair true too. but i'm just wasting myself now. i'm too pathetic to do anything else. i'm just drifting... i can't decide on anything. And the one passion i do have can't ever be anything more than a hobby. i'm scared. i'm scared that when i'm older i'm only going to drift... and keep drifting into oblivion, into nothingness.