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coworkers hate me

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered2009, Apr 18, 2009.

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  1. I think all my coworkers hate me. I don't think it's paranoia either. Lately, they've all just been acting strange towards me. Including my boss. There's one coworker who was always sort of passive agressive and perhaps jealous of me since the beginning, and now I suddenly feel like everyone is starting to be that way towards me. I'm not completely sure about the jealous part, but whenever I work hard, I always get this passive agressive response from everyone, calling me an over acheiver and what-not. It's weird because there is another person who whenever he works hard, he gets pats on the back while I get sneers. I'm starting to feel like they all want me out of there. I don't know what I'm doing to provoke it. I'm starting to think the one woman I mentioned who hated me from the get-go is saying things about me behind my back but I can't be sure. She talks about other people behind their backs all the time so it's safe to assume she is doing it to me too right??. I'm starting to feel paranoid like she is turning everyone against me. Or is it just me?? I try to keep a positive attitude at work, I work hard, I pitch in when people need help, and I try to be nice. Sometimes I complain but I make jokes of it, just like everyone does. This is what I do at work and I'm not obnoxious about any of it. Mostly I just come to work and do my job. I'm just an average working joe. I feel like there is something going on that I don't know about. Does anyone else have this problem and what happened? Or has anyone had the feeling that people were talking stuff behind their backs and then found out it wasn't just a feeling? I'm starting to really dread going to work because of it but I can't afford to quit my job right now. I've tried to come to work and say nothing and just work so I could avoid any sort of miscommunications or say something wrong (which I'm not sure what's wrong and not anymore), but then everyone thinks I'm pissed or disgruntled. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or what anymore.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :hug: bullyonline.org offers all kinds of info about bullying (including workplace bullying). Go to this link for workplace bullying:


    Read all of it; or at least connect to the links that are embedded in the author's somewhat lengthy text.

    You're not alone, hun... I hope the situation improves for you!

  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    There's a good chance that this isn't just you being paranoid.
    Hopefully the web link given by the poster above can be of great help to you.
  4. ladylazarus

    ladylazarus Guest

    First I will say get help for your depression. I've been doing self help for a long time because I come from an abusive, ragaholic,workaholic dad and a sociopathic evil mom. So I know how to deal with opposition.
    People are so unstable. There is not a good way to guage what is going on except for if everybody thinks something maybe there's truth into it. Get to know yourself examin why you do things. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
    I have been under fire for a year but I've learnt alot being into psychology. Here are a few things first people don't feel good about themselves.Passive aggressive people can't express anything except for anger they are very dismal two faced people. You have to be stronger than them because first you know they are lacking and don't even know it. You already have power over them. They think they can take their stuff out on you because they are doctors or adiminstrators or their wife makes them miserable whatever. Of course the normal thing to do is to bring it up to an administrator and look for a new job. I never bring things up at my job because I know only money matters to them.
    It is possible that you aren't perfect have a few flaws SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE they just pick on you because they feel like crap.The way I dealt with my problem at my job was build my self esteem & repeat things to myself and make myself BE STILL. I was calm I didn't argue or fight but I got alot of insight.
    Obviously people who pick on you for any reason don't like themselves. I've had to learn body language to find out if the problem is really me or them and it is both. You may not be perfect but if you accept others weaknesses they are going to realize they're frauds if they don't accept yours. They are very fragile pathetic people sometimes you have to reach out to them and assure them that you like them. When people don't like me I give them compliments flattery but that can backfire if they think you're faking because passive aggressive people are paranoid.
    I worked with a passive aggressive doctor who couldn't ask me DIRECTLY what he wanted. First he was nice I welcomed him whatever. Like 6 months later he stopped telling me good job(note my behavior didn't change) he EXCLUDED me, didn't want to do treatment with me and I got yelled at by my manager because he complained so much. Then 2 days later he changed his mind and called me in to do treatment. WTF bipolar much??
    I didn't react to him or fight but that is what he wanted to fight with me to release his tension. I just behaved well and made him feel like crap which he already did. I figured this out by body language and I didn't have a 'you owe me attitude' so he was very confused. He came to me and was like 'If you have questions, just ask'. Implying that I have a problem when he has the problem. When you get to know people you realize they are not honest with themselves. But by doing nothing I frustrated his purpose LOL. I didn't argue or fight I made it be known that I had no problem with him but thought he didn't communicate what he wanted with me. That is when I realized I disrupted his routine.
    You might be suicidal because you feel things strongly are sensitive but you can't take peole or their authority seriously. I was raised to think other people were better than me knew more than me come to realize the opinion of people means nothing. What matters is your opinion of yourself.
    I say build your self esteem get to know yourself and be loyal to yourself. Even if people are hurtful if you are solid they can't get to you because you know the truth. You are on the side of truth you do your job not gossip or denigrate others. I also learnt to a certain extent to accept unstable coworkers as family if I'm going to be staying there. I treat them like children speak slowly clearly because they're not confident like me lol.
    Through body language reading people non verbal communication you can influence people to make your life easier. Learn body language I am so serious about this. I was born clueless.
    So in conclusion do self help, build your self esteem by setting goals, be courteous bring problems up if confrontations are necessary from cattiness contront those people. I've had to do that once at another job this person didn't respect me they grabbed my shirt. I got even but I also told her 'You are the rudest person your parents didnt teach you manners'. I knew I was better educated spoke better english than her duh. She cried and tried to say that I sit on my butt and do nothing. Which is also not true but what else would she say?
    You may feel bad now but I promise that if you are your own best friend life gets much much better. You will learn also that people pretend to be confident and know but they don't. It's a mask.
  5. I see where your coming from I have the exact same problem and I think its making me depressed just getting the cold shoulder from everyone; when (not to be full of myself) I feel like I should be getting a big pat on the back since I get way more work done then the other guys. Then to make it worst i get denied a raise. Which is semi understandable with the economy being down, but it did feel like a big spit in the FACE, after two years. In a nutshell I think that passive aggressive behaivor should not be tolerated at all in a work place it just brings everyone down.... And I think even if its going to be a struggle at first that maybe mental wellness is better than money.
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