Yup, I'm having suicidal feelings. But I'm really good at holding on, and I think I could handle waiting for better times... but I haven't found an easy painless method. So I feel really hopeless, 'cause if I had to do it I couldn't. If I knew of a way to die that was easy (I'm a minor and can't do much) that would emotionally support me lots and I'd be lots happier and able to function better. It's hard to explain why. If I knew I was able to leave at any point, I'd be transcending my life and be able to look at it more lightly. Paradoxically enough, I want to not care. I think I'm naturally a kind of apathetic person, and I can control my mind pretty well, but it's still really hard to not care. But of course nobody here's going to tell a very depressed person a suicide method, and neither will my parents or my psychologist. (duh) My peers are kind of dumb. And even after intense google searching, I haven't found something feasible. Being suicidal, and also depressed that you can't commit suicide is really hard.