crash and burned again, this is my last place to look for help

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by lifeslilmistake7, Oct 17, 2008.

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  1. hello everyone..

    this is the second time im going through all this hurt, this confusement, the cutting, the thoughts, and the deciding im not going to eat anymore becuase im just too fat....

    name is elvera..but please call me El...

    was in this mental state before and tried committing suicide twice before in my 19 yrs old and when i just though things were getting better..i crash and burn...this time trying to hide it more from the ones i love and love me...i don't think I could show them the real side of me again or even let them in to help...i hav disappointed them once and they tried so hard to help me i just can't do it to them again...

    nice to meet hoping this site will help me deal with this myself ..
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hi El
    sorry to hear you are going thru a tough time again, please know you will not be alone here and i hope you find the help you are seeking.
    hiding how you feel and how you feel about yourself may seem a good idea, i understand that its the easiest thing to do but it looks like you asked for help once before, don't be scared to ask again, your loved ones will understand i am sure.

    only a pm away

    take care

  3. thanks andy...but it just seems that everytime i ask for help things get worse..i feel ashamed when i tell people how i really feel..and the things i do to cope...i feel like they think of me as a freak..someone who should be in a white room
  4. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    you have nothing to be ashamed about, you are not alone in your hurt and pain.
    i can understand the feelings of low self esteem and your loved ones will do too, things take time to get back to what people call 'normal' and they may know this.
    nothing ventured nothing gained, i know it will be hard but give it some thought and do what you feel is best in your own time but please stop cutting. it may feel like it helps but it is just an illussion, you have done sooo well over the past year. be proud of what you have acheived so far.

    stay strong
  5. idk...i just need some fix..alcohol has been a best friend for awhile..but then run out of that theres nothng else i could resort just a burden to everyone...i have failed my life and failed them ...last year only reason why i didnt cut because i resorted to drinking made me feel lighter in the world...made me feel invisible
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    been there, alcohol was my friend too and if i am honest still is to a lesser degree, but the same as cutting, alcohol is just a quick fix, something that you end up clinging to for help when it really makes things worse and makes the depression over bearing.
    and of course it becomes harder to give up, nothing you don't already know.

    time is all you need, speak to people and try to start to like yourself more.

    no one is a failure
  7. ive tried it all....but the whole try liking myself more? i have tried..there is nothing to like..i look at my past and want to forget it all again, i look at my future, but wait, dont see one,

    dealt with my eating disorder and not shortly after its back...
    got kicked out of my house a year ago and still learning how to cope with it..
    ripped up all my photos of my family and my younger days...

    to my parents eyes i am a failue
    to my friends eyes i am a failure
    and to the most important person in my life..he finally also sees me as a failure...
    the one person i had to live for and now what?
  8. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    you say everyone see's you as a failure, is this something you know for sure, have they told you this or just a transferance of your own feelings of yourself to how you think they see you.

    i don't think you are a failure, anyone who has tried and got somewhere, made some improvement however small or if only for a while is no failure.
    you have proved you could change in some small way, in time i hope you can try that again, but don't be hard on yourself as you are worth more than that.

    and who knows what the future will be like, it can be good or bad but thats down to you, it will be a trip to find out though
  9. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF El. Pm me if ever you wanna chat. Take care :hug:
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am sure you will find help and support here. :hug:
  11. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Maybe you can start out small and anew, like create goals that helps you like yourself. For example, what can you learn from the past that can apply to now? Can you join a club where you can make new friends and do various activities together? These are just a few questions you can ask yourself to make goals. You don't need to involve anyone in this. (like "if I do this, will she like me again?" kind of thing) It should focus on you only.

    And if ever you're feeling down, come on to SF. =) I hope I've helped in any way I can. :hug:
  12. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum :hug:
  13. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Welcome to SF! Hope you find the support you need here life! :hug:
  14. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    couple days late but still :)
    I sent you an add I hope that's ok :hug:
  15. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :hug:
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