Crash!

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#1
Hi everyone.

My reason for being here should sit under the heading of the so-called Great Recession.

A number of years ago, I realized that I was unhappy in my career and I decided that I would think positively and take action for a change. I have always had problems with depression and so taking on an optimistic attitude was something really new for me.

I left my job, enrolled in University and busted my butt to get a BBA in accounting. I graduated Summa cum Laude in May of 2009 and as is well known, the economy was in collapse at that time. Jobs are scarce and being 44 years old didn't help me either. To up my chances, I took and passed the CPA examinations. I can't find a job.

So, I took a chance and I lost. I have a mountain of student loans to pay and there appears to be no chance to find a job. The whole effort has ended in failure. My life is like a house that stands down the road from here that was started and not finished due to economic collapse. Just an unfinished project standing idle and decaying by the day.

Lately I have been considering suicide. Years ago I promised myself that I would not. But now it seems that all my problems will vanish with just one bullet. Debt, shame, stink of failure, nicotine addiction, aging, lonliness, and all the other things that I'm leaving out would simply vanish. The only thing stopping me now is that I don't want to hurt the people I love.

I have read many of the other members posts here and I realize that my problems are perhaps not as deep and painful as those which plague other authors. I hope that at some point I can be helpful and encouraging but at the moment I am suffering from an illness known as depression. My view of life is distorted and my problems appear larger than they are. I can't see anything good.

I want to thank several of the members who have written their experiences here for helping me through this. Reading your posts showed me what my life looks like from the outside and I can see more clearly what my true problems are. I will do my best to return the favor.
 

lightbeam

Antiquities Friend
#2
Welcome aboard to the SF train.

The recession and the ever growing displacement of the work force has caused a backlash for sure. Many are turning to online support forums such as this one. You will find more stories while you are here that the recession has caused.

Take a peek around, and get familiar with the various forums. You will find many that are willing to help be your support system. We are all here for each other.

See you around the forums.

- J
 

cownes

Well-Known Member
#3
helloo,

welcome to SF, thank you for sharing ur story with us here, i hope u can find help and support here :hug: maybe u could see a counsellor or dr and explain how u r feeling to them, u deserve help, keep posting, people are listening!
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Admin
SF Supporter
#4
svboda,

I'm really sorry to hear how things have turned out so far - especially after the huge input of effort on your part in so many areas. :hug:

So, I took a chance and I lost.
It's early days yet for the recovery of the economy. I'm not trying to trivialize you and your real concerns (student loans, disappointment, bum economy, no job yet), but it is early days...Economies have just barely and recently started to pick up in various countries. It will get much better and with all your education and previous life experience, your know-how will be a prized asset when the economy hits its stride again.

I always hear that while we're unemployed in our career of choice, it's good to take whatever we can find in the meantime. It shows possible future employers that we didn't let the hard blow to our situation knock us out of the game. (I'm over 50 years old now and that's how I'm dealing with a similar situation of being "underemployed" - I've got two uni degrees and a college certificate...and I'm a "concierge" (fancy title for front desk receptionist). It's better than nothing, even if it doesn't pay all my bills. And it took two years and personal networking to get it. And it may not last. I try not to think or worry of the what ifs and if onlys (not always successfully, but I try).

I feel very sad for you and your situation and I sincerely hope it improves for you soon. Feel free to PM me to rant and vent and bounce ideas around any time if you wish, hun. Please don't hurt or kill yourself. The world is waiting for you - give yourself a chance to shine when things have started moving in the world markets again. I'm sure you will shine!

Thinking of you,
:hug:
A.
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#5
Hi and welcome...the recession will resolve...it always does, and hopefully not in a depression (as many of us here know too well)...keep posting and letting us know what is going on for you and you will see we are here to support you...welcome again, big hugs, J
 
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