Hi everyone.
My reason for being here should sit under the heading of the so-called Great Recession.
A number of years ago, I realized that I was unhappy in my career and I decided that I would think positively and take action for a change. I have always had problems with depression and so taking on an optimistic attitude was something really new for me.
I left my job, enrolled in University and busted my butt to get a BBA in accounting. I graduated Summa cum Laude in May of 2009 and as is well known, the economy was in collapse at that time. Jobs are scarce and being 44 years old didn't help me either. To up my chances, I took and passed the CPA examinations. I can't find a job.
So, I took a chance and I lost. I have a mountain of student loans to pay and there appears to be no chance to find a job. The whole effort has ended in failure. My life is like a house that stands down the road from here that was started and not finished due to economic collapse. Just an unfinished project standing idle and decaying by the day.
Lately I have been considering suicide. Years ago I promised myself that I would not. But now it seems that all my problems will vanish with just one bullet. Debt, shame, stink of failure, nicotine addiction, aging, lonliness, and all the other things that I'm leaving out would simply vanish. The only thing stopping me now is that I don't want to hurt the people I love.
I have read many of the other members posts here and I realize that my problems are perhaps not as deep and painful as those which plague other authors. I hope that at some point I can be helpful and encouraging but at the moment I am suffering from an illness known as depression. My view of life is distorted and my problems appear larger than they are. I can't see anything good.
I want to thank several of the members who have written their experiences here for helping me through this. Reading your posts showed me what my life looks like from the outside and I can see more clearly what my true problems are. I will do my best to return the favor.
My reason for being here should sit under the heading of the so-called Great Recession.
A number of years ago, I realized that I was unhappy in my career and I decided that I would think positively and take action for a change. I have always had problems with depression and so taking on an optimistic attitude was something really new for me.
I left my job, enrolled in University and busted my butt to get a BBA in accounting. I graduated Summa cum Laude in May of 2009 and as is well known, the economy was in collapse at that time. Jobs are scarce and being 44 years old didn't help me either. To up my chances, I took and passed the CPA examinations. I can't find a job.
So, I took a chance and I lost. I have a mountain of student loans to pay and there appears to be no chance to find a job. The whole effort has ended in failure. My life is like a house that stands down the road from here that was started and not finished due to economic collapse. Just an unfinished project standing idle and decaying by the day.
Lately I have been considering suicide. Years ago I promised myself that I would not. But now it seems that all my problems will vanish with just one bullet. Debt, shame, stink of failure, nicotine addiction, aging, lonliness, and all the other things that I'm leaving out would simply vanish. The only thing stopping me now is that I don't want to hurt the people I love.
I have read many of the other members posts here and I realize that my problems are perhaps not as deep and painful as those which plague other authors. I hope that at some point I can be helpful and encouraging but at the moment I am suffering from an illness known as depression. My view of life is distorted and my problems appear larger than they are. I can't see anything good.
I want to thank several of the members who have written their experiences here for helping me through this. Reading your posts showed me what my life looks like from the outside and I can see more clearly what my true problems are. I will do my best to return the favor.