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Crashed again!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shauna Lea, May 18, 2008.

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  1. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I found out he's lied to me AGAIN, I've fallen AGAIN, I've crashed AGAIN..and this time I can't get up! It's something small but even the smallest cut feels like an unhealable wound! I have to end this - I'll never stop loving him and he will never stop lying. It'sgot to be over for me - I just need to find a way :sad:

    Help me! I don't deserve this :sad::sad:
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    nobody deserves this hun, being lied to is the worst and it is very hard to forgive.
    i dont know whats happened but be strong, be strong for yourself, you can get past this.
    you feel hurt and anger, let it out, never bottle this stuff up.

    stay safe
  3. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I am letting it out, I'm shaking so much and havent stopped crying for an hour since I found out. I'm starting to think I deserve this, it's been going on for 2 years - I feel so ashamed! I have to end it :sad: i've been left with no choice. SUre, it will get better with time but I have no time left!
  4. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    It's all gone downhill so quickly tonight and i dont have the strength to stop it from getting worse - i feel the end is so near. Save me from this
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Shauna, if one thing life has taught me it's never let one person become the reason for your life; they will invariably let you down one way or another. :hug:
    As hard as it is and will be, the time has probably come for you to end this relationship...for your own sanity and self esteem.
    Yes it will be hard, yes you will be miserable as sin for some time to come...but it will pass Learn from the experience and move on..you are worth more than this. :hug:
  6. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Thanks very much for ur honesty Terry. It's not him though, it's me! You know what they say "shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice". I'm ashamed of myself and I dont want to wake up each morning and look at such a sorry sack of shit!
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Then take that shame and make it something positive.
    Look yourself right in the eye and say TODAY IT STOPS!!
    Any relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself (regardless of who is doing what) is a relationship you need to get out of.

    That sorry sack of shit you are seeing in the mirror will be stronger and better for taking control and saying "I am worth more than this".
    You are worth more than this..spit in his eye and get yourself a life worth the living. :hug:
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I know you are greiving right now but trust me you will get passed this. I've been there. I know how you feel.My exfiance cheated on me for quite a while. She also ripped me off for 18,000 dollars. I put it in the bank and she pulled it out and stuck it in another bank account. You are going through the first steps of getting past this. Once you realize it is over and that you can't trust him anymore you will move from grief to anger.
    It's his loss so don't give in and accept that there is something wrong with you. Your takeing the first steps of getting over him. try and find someone you can trust or find a therapist that you can communcate with. You need to talk even if it is just you writing in a journal. You need to get that crap out in the open and you'll see it does make you feel a little better. Just take baby steps. There is know time line to keep up with. I hope this helps a little.
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