Crashed today

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Hache, Mar 28, 2014.

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  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Not sure of the cause. Was doing find. Then today anxiety is incredibly bad.

    It's almost like i've woken up and it has dawned on me that I have failed. I am alone because I am not good enough. That's the hard evidence right there. Facebook is a wash with reminders of girls who rejected me or eventually rejected me, all posting lovey dovey stuff with the bf's. Public affection, showing them off. Why not me? I am not good enough.

    I am 26, I have never had a proper relationship, closest I have came was 3 or so months with one girl 3 years ago.

    That's me done with life now. Anxiety is bad today. Body goes into spasm's like I am possessed.

    I'm not good enough, the world has told me.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Don't believe everything you see on facebook. It's all (or a lot of it anyway) an illusion. You're getting one version of people on there. Their public personas per se... There have been a number of studies conducted on the destructive effects of social networks on users' mental health - self esteem, and such! So, try not to let it get you too down. About the only thing you can rest assure of, is that it's not the most accurate portrayal of their lives (most times). We very often advertise to the world our positive qualities--grossly exaggerated, in fact: what we wish to be! And then minimize the negative, less glamorous aspects--hide away all that private, dirty laundry: right? Best Regards-
  3. TheStruggle

    TheStruggle Active Member

    It's hard to believe (trust me), but relationships aren't always worth it. You shouldn't feel bad about yourself just because you haven't been in a "normal" relationship. You just haven't found the right person, and you'd be surprised to find out how messed up every relationship is. It may seem like the world is against you, but my wish is that you'll come out of this happy.
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    :hug: I can so relate to that. Damn anxiety!!! I crash a lot too, and I feel like I'll always be alone, I haven't had a normal relationship in years, I just can't go as fast as most people. It's like I'm not like normal people when it comes to dating. So I'm sorry you're going through that yourself, but know you are not alone :hug:

    I think it's our perspective that is bad, we see all the negative and the anxiety thrives on's like a cancer. For me facebook, I don't follow many people, it's more of a place where I can read about series I watch, cool stuff (especially horror) that are found on the net, animals and funny stuff. I don't follow highschool friends or exes or anything like that because I don't want to be maybe that could be an option? you won't feel down if you don't know about it right?
  5. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    im glad yo see you back. please come to chat.
  6. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    That's true because I do it as well. But nevertheless I wanted to be the one posting those things. I've been on Facebook for over half a decade and not once been able to. :disturbed:

    It might not turn out to be paradise but if it keeps me healthy in mind it is worth it. Right now I am mentally ill and damaged because I am alone, isolated, no intimacy at all, not even from friendship. I have only been operating on a healthy level when the intimacy void is filled, for that brief moment it happened even though it wasn't plain sailing with a girl I was with I took it in a sane manner. The loneliness is such a big factor in life right now.

    I remember seeing a programme about the Victorians inventing modern prison. At first they took people who previously were hung for their crimes and they gave them a sentence, through them in jail with the hope they'd learn and be rehabilitated. Only the first prisons they built were single cells, prisoners never interacted, they spent their terms locked away. They sharp realised that the prisoners were going mentally insane and that is why to this day prisoners are allowed to mingle with each other, allowed guests, encouraged to be socially active.

    I know this isn't entirely relevant, I am not locked up, but this insanity is what is happening to me. Yes if we want to go deeper to ask why a free man is going insane and not going out and getting the social interactions required we could open the door to many other things wrong with me, aspergers, an extreme eating disorder, lack of confidence, no routine place of interaction such as work.

    I can't turn them off because I know how to turn them back on. Ha. It's an addiction, especially with one girl. I actually unfriended her and blocked her when I was having a bad moment, but a couple of hours later I added her again.

    I'm glad you are still here, it's good to hear from people who helped me many a year ago, nostalgic :)

    I had another panic attack tonight, it was followed by acceptance that suicide is the answer, for a brief while I decided I would go buy a book to write in, to write the reasons I must end my life in, so people know. But it's nearly midnight so nothing is open, so I came on here and I feel better now having been able to write these replies on here.

    That's all I need, interaction, intimacy, talking stimuli, I lack that support in my life and it has placed me in a dangerous place at times
  7. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we are always here to talk.
  8. AnaNg

    AnaNg Antiquities Friend

    I don't know if you've ever done this, but maybe deactivate yourself from Facebook for a while? I know a number of people who've done that and found it very helpful. I don't know if you're seeing a therapist right now, but I think it might be a good idea. You said that you need interaction, intimacy, and talking stimuli. Well, psychotherapy provides two of the three (intimacy being the one that it doesn't) and if you can get two of those three things going, it might help alleviate your anxiety enough that you can actively pursue and find success in intimacy. You might also benefit from seeking out a therapy group for people who struggle with anxiety. I would say seek out individual therapy first and start there and then get a referral for group therapy (while continuing individual therapy). The individual sessions can help you work out your specific needs (as well as providing that interaction and talking stimuli) and the group therapy can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness and help you find at least a beginning level of intimacy via others who share your struggle. The other thing about group therapy is that you can learn stuff about yourself through the struggles of others in the group and through trying to help them when they are in need.

    Please hang in there. Suicide is not the answer. You are important and worth the effort to get better. I know you can do this and I know that the folks here at SF will support you as you do. (((hugs)))

  9. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I deactivated facebook once in February. I can't do it though, not now either as it is my only way of communicating with a few people who I once knew who have moved around the world. I still talk to them on there, they are the only people I get to talk to in life :(

    I have a therapist back home that I usually see once a month or once every 6 weeks, however 5 months ago now she said she thought I had aspergers and referred me to get tested, I am still on an NHS waiting list, after 5 months!!!! She said she would continue to support me until then but that if she is right I will need more specialist support. The NHS don't give a shit though, mental health means very little to them. Therapy hasn't worked though, it has been a year now and I am no better off because of it.

    The anxiety is bad today. I cannot concentrate either. I have a lot of studying to do and it is 3:30pm i've done nothing, my brain cannot focus.

    I am alone in this battle, the internet is the only place to be heard, but its release is limited in the fact that it is on screen.
  10. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    continue to do your best!!
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