Crashing hard

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by betteroffunknown, Jun 15, 2016.

  1. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    Tomorrow is my daughters 24th bday; this can't be happening!!! As such, I refuse to give into the insanely strong desire (otherwise I would), but am extreeeeemly tempted to just give up atm.

    I've been abnormally tired today for reasons I don't understand which wasn't helpful while at a long meeting this morning. I was popping cinnamon altoids I could suck on just to keep awake, and they also distracted me from the headache and neck ache I was experiencing at the time. Two people I'm close to were noticing what I was doing although they had no idea why I was doing it. One leaned over to ask if I needed a drink cuz I was popping so many. It wasn't about thirst. I had a full mug to drink. I found it all quite embarrassing tbh.

    Once I got home I could still barely stay awake. I took my dog for a brief walk, and was forced to take a nap cuz my eyes were burning so bad. Slept for two hours, and it doesn't seem to have made any diff.

    I'm extremely discouraged and hopeless atm. I'm longing to just put myself out of my misery. Of course there's more to it than just being tired, but I'm sure it's certainly not helping matters, either. And just for the record - I got enough sleep last night.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support


    You can get through this.
  3. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Kate.

    My health sucks. It's a constant struggle to get things where they need to be to function decently, and as soon as I start getting close something else goes amiss. Even my body is starting to turn on me. I'm sick (no pun intended) of living at drs offices!! Lately I've been averaging at least two days a week at them!! Next week will be no exception. It's recently been acknowledged that I have auto-immune issues, too, (which is how my body is turning on me) and also means none of the regular dr's visits are going to stop - EVER!

    I'm pretty sure my thyroid is out of whack again, too. The way I'm feeling now very much reminds me of when it went bad the first time (undiscovered at that point), but it'll get tested next Wed.

    I haven't even been able to get my daughter anything for her bday yet which is bothering me MAJOR time. I was expecting a notice today letting me know I'd have a reimbursement check tomorrow, but that notice didn't come which means I won't get it till next week. Sadly, I was counting on that to be able to get something for her. Ya, one can say they're sure my daughter would understand it being late, and I'm sure she would. But I guess my point is I'm sick of it being like this!!! I don't know what I can do about it, either.

    Thanks to another situation I found myself in 8yrs ago it screwed me as far as getting an actual job which is why I do so much volunteering. It's not that I object to volunteering otherwise, cuz I was actually starting to look into doing it when that crap 8yrs ago went down. Just sucks knowing I can't work (which I LOVE to do).

    Especially lately it's been one constant major battle after another, and it's never going to stop!!!! I long for dull and boring, but life has been anything but that. The only way to manage that is to cut myself off from everyone and climb into a hole and disappear, but knowing how things go in my life that wouldn't last long, either. :(