Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by nobodyandeverybody, Aug 7, 2009.

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  1. nobodyandeverybody

    nobodyandeverybody Active Member

    i've been worse lately and i've been feeling like one day i'm going to crash. The odd thing is that i think i want to crash, i want to stop taking my anti-depressants and start cutting again. I miss feeling, if i stop taking my anti-depressants maybe i can become unstable enough again where i can try something again to kill myself.
  2. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    I've felt the same way :-/. Like even down to wanting to be unstable enough to attempt suicide.

    I understand wanting to quit meds - I hated how numb they made me feel, and I did quit. But I'm trying to take care of myself. I've been trying to care for myself instead through the aid of a natural supplements a doctor prescribed, and learning how to calm my pain through therapy, and eating well/exercising/etc. I'm able to feel again, but I'm not stuck in absolute misery like I was before the medication or supplements/therapy. I still think about suicide a lot and struggle with my mood swings and anxiety but I am better able to handle life than before. I'm at least the teeniest bit hopeful. I hope that if you quit your meds, you try to take care of yourself too. Really, I'm not a strong supporter of psychiatric medications, but I think there are alternative ways to treat depression/mental illness.
  3. nobodyandeverybody

    nobodyandeverybody Active Member

    i want to go live in my own house and sit in a corner and cry and cut

    i wish i could talk to my doctor and get adderall or xanax because adderall really puts me up and lets me focus and i think it would help some and xanax for urges

    my dad goes with me and doesn't know i used to cut and doesn't know i went to the mental hospital when i still lived with my mom
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Could you request to speak to the doctor privately?

    Or maybe talk on the phone with the doctor?

    You need to tell him/her what you've just said here. They can't help if they don't know whats going on :hug:
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sounds like crashing not a good thing you really should phone and get help for yourself before you hit bottom It is very hard once you hit there i know don't think ill ever get out.
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