Creative / Artistic Block

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by cie, Mar 27, 2012.

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  1. cie

    cie Banned Member


    I used to have a lot of interest in film and as a result I studied 3D animation for two years. It was a huge milestone for me because it took about four years of therapy until I felt confident enough to do it, and even then, mostly signed up on a random spur of motivation that was strange to me. First year was fine, the work I produced was good for my experience at the time. But then the second year was murder. And you'll have to forgive me for being obscure I just want to remain anonymous so I can not name anything. One of the biggest studios in the world gave their intellectual property rights to my school, a bunch of students, with the expectation that we could produce professional quality short film work on a miniature budget. Long story short; we succeeded in every meaning of the word. What was a 3 month project turned into a 6 month project. What was ten hour days 5 days a week turned into 16 hour days 7 days a week (no exaggeration).

    Needless to say I relapsed. I've been trained in every single area of 3D and DSLR photography. I'm not being egotistical, I have ZERO natural talent and I worked for every ounce of knowledge I have, although I know what I'm worth and as far as a graduate goes, I have ability light years above the average student because I worked for it. I studied to specialize as a 'Character Technical Director' and I was really good at it. And even outside of my specialty, I was able to take a still life photograph of a complex object and recreate it on a computer with rare few people being able to identify it as CG. The project struggled with my relapse and my therapist (who is an amazing person) refused to let me fail my course, after a month and a half I was back in on my terms - reasonable hours that I could maintain and would increase week by week. They needed me and I guess that's how I passed in the end. I also received a high commendation for my technical work which is worth far more than the qualification.

    (Even with all that, I have never worked in the industry due to my psychosis, and due to the severe lack of studios who accept specialists in this country)

    So why is all that important when the thread is about a creative block? Quite simple really... with all that I've been taught and taught myself, why can I not generate original ideas or concepts to apply the techniques I am familiar with too? This is a question that wont even make sense to most people, so let's try this:

    I *LOVE* creating simplistic yet re-memorable cartoon characters. Nothing I like more. The thing is that I can not generate any ideas, when I am coming up with a concept it is not possible for me to even draw. I can't even picture a vague body shape for a character. My only means is to create characters other people have made and I can spend 10+ hours searching and not find one that I'd be happy making.

    Also, when I had my Canon 500D kit I had significant trouble generating ideas for good photographs despite being skilled in composition and photography in general.

    It's almost like there's a section of my brain that just doesn't function anymore. It has been several months since I even opened Maya (my primary 3D software) but lately have been trying to get back into it before I forget everything; it's not something you can just stop for a while then pick up again without re-learning. But this has always been an issue for me and I will talk to my therapist about it. I am more than certain that the abilify (aripiprizole) quelled my creativity but things just aren't looking too good for me.

    Any input is welcome.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Abilify makes thoughts more clear also it manages your moods so you will not have the highs and lows I don't know if it would take away from your creativity maybe if it is too high dose it could cause you to have less emotion I think talking to your doctor is a great idea hun see what doc thinks I do hope you get back into your creativity side it sounds so interesting what you do. hugs
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