Credit Where Credit is Due

Throughout most of the past months I spent most of my day (and night) thinking about suicide and planning it in detail. The closest I got to action was to visit several gunshops in the area. But most of my time was spent visualizing and working out How To Do It. There was no respite. And I did this alone, without sharing it with my wife, my therapist or anyone else.

Then I joined SF. I participated in the forum and the chat rooms. I joined the give and take of ideas, jokes, and stray thoughts. And yesterday, when the suicidal thoughts visited again I realized that I hadn't had any such thoughts for about two weeks. And it was the two weeks I spent in SF. I don't think it was anything magical. It was just the difference between being utterly alone (tho' married) and being in touch with other people, whatever their age, who were undergoing suicidal thinking just as I was and who came together to share their pain and their triumph.

So I give SF a lot of credit. Maybe if I'm even more involved, the suicidal thoughts and feelings will just go away. I don't know. But I'm paying close attention to what I'm doing here and the ups and downs of my feelings.

So thanks, SF, and thanks also to all the kind members who answer my questions or just jump in and tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Zola

 

We just have to keep fighting on. We are in a battle that most of us dont realize.

That battle is between us and death.

keep on fighting!

 

Congratulations and stay the course !:smile:

 

Glad to hear you are in a better place Zola :hug: Those suicidal thoughts can certainly be overcome with enough time and work, there are many here who have gotten past them so keep your head up PM me if you ever need to chat.

 

Thanks for posting this. It is a battle and positive stuff like this helps us all.

 

all the best buddy! we are always here for you!