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'Creepy, stalker' etc

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Lost., Aug 7, 2010.

  1. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    Why do women seem to flatter themselves with these terms so much these days?

    Does it make them feel superior to others?
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Why would it be viewed as flattering?

    If you truly feel that someone is 'stalking' you then that's absolutely terrifying and all you want is for them to leave you alone and stop it. It can be very dangerous to be genuinely stalked. I've never been stalked, thankfully, but I can see how it would be a horrific experience.

    I tend to use 'creepy' a lot because some people, both male and female, are just that 'creepy'.
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I have a stalker (I'm a guy, she's a girl). In no way does it make me feel attractive to know that she's attracted to me.

    If you have a problem with being called it, try analysing your behaviour.
  4. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    Agreed. I've also had a stalker, and it made me feel horrible.
    Do you get called things like that often?
  5. jenniferelaine

    jenniferelaine Well-Known Member

    ........I felt SOOOOO attractive knowing there was an HIV-positive sex offender following me around. So attractive.

    ...and I also feel really attractive when I look back and look at the things I did to my ex (mostly repetitive phone calls, some cyber stalking).

    Was the sarcasm thick enough for you?
  6. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    I am a woman and I have never used those words when referring to a man. Usually, I am the one who towards the end of a relationship gets desperate and needy. Angry texts, phone calls, emails, etc. I would never actually go to somebody's house though.
  7. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    I only brought this up because i've seen innocently seeming, friendly guys dismissed as creepy.

    Sometimes it just seems to contemptuous and mean-spirited.
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    There might be a reason for that. Oftem girls have a better developed gut instinct when it comes to things like that so there may be something about them that unsettled the girl even if you were not aware of it (or alternatively he may have done something to unsettle them- intentionally or unintentionally).
  9. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    The only men I tend to call "creepy" are either the 50 year olds hitting on a barely legal girl, or the men who take you being nice to them as you wanting them. This one guy used to follow me home from school every day for months, and hang around outside my door after I went in and in the mornings before I left. It all started because I smiled and said "hey" when I was heading home, mostly because no-one ever talks to him. He's a bit unfortunate looking and has a nasty stutter, teenagers can be cruel. He started getting more friendly and I was nice at first, until he was clearly flirting with me and I politely made it clear that I didn't feel the same. He'd continue to follow me, flirt with me, I'd remind him I wasn't interested and he'd start getting really nasty. I started asking him not to walk with me, to leave me alone, and it just got worse. One of those "I love you" one minute and "I'm going to choke you to death" the next types.

    Even now that the issue is resolved, he must have told his little brother (who isn't even ten years old yet -.-) that I was some terrible person because he'll scream abuse at me in the street whenever I pass him. His mother also gives me some horrendous looks. Clearly his family thinks I was out of order as he did. He probably thinks his behaviour was perfectly acceptable. In his words, he thought I was being a tease. There's always two sides to every story, usually theres a damn good reason for a girl calling a guy creepy or a stalker. It's only fair to say, though, that a few girls are just nasty and will fling insults at any guy they don't consider "worthy" of them. It's just worth considering that stalkers don't usually consider themselves stalkers at the time, they think their behaviour is justified so only hearing their side.. well you can see where I'm going with this, this post is long enough already XD

    EDIT: Also, sorry for assuming you were refering to something a woman had called you, that was rude of me.
  10. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I think I agree with scum.
    You know, some people just seem off? They might be 'friendly' at first-- but almost *too*friendly, for someone you just met?
    And then they complain when you don't talk to them 24/7, and call your house multiple times every day...and night...follow you to work and buy tickets to all of the shows that day just so they can watch you work...and show up outside your door at 3am on their motorcycle...

    I've become a person who follows her gut alot more often now. It's just instinct to protect yourself, and some people trigger it unintentionally.
    Sorry- that's just the way it works.
    In time perhaps you could gain her trust, but sometimes it's just too much unwanted attention, too fast.
    And it's probably hurtful on the other end, but it's horrifying on her (or his) end when she/he thinks that they may have a stalker watching their every move.
  11. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    I can understand that.

    But deep down you have to sympathize for a person like that, too. If he hadn't been turned away for shallow reasons growing up, he'd be a much different person. There wouldn't be that clinginess and fear of abandonment.

    I think that we create these maladjusted types. Not by acting like cocks towards them, but just isolating them and forgetting the fact that these are human-beings with human emotions and a need to be loved and accepted like everyone else. We let them fall off the boat and it's really unfortunate.
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I personally think that anyone who is involved in stalking, be it as the victim, or the stalker needs help. They both need a huge amount of help, just in different respects.
  13. Rayne

    Rayne Well-Known Member

    Oh, I agree. But thats the main reason I felt awful, because I couldn't get him to stop by myself, had to get others involved etc and I felt like I was being mean, haha. Hopefully he's doing better now he's done with school, I haven't seen him around so he probably got a fresh start away from all the nasty people he was in high school with.
    Have you seen this happen to anyone around you recently, or just something you'd been thinking about?
  14. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    I had a stalker, but she just wanted me to take care of her financially. God that was awful. She was an ex that tried to use me after she got pregnant (someone else's kid) by pretending to like me. She lived with me for a month and a half before deciding to tell me she was pregnant. I paid for EVERYTHING. She was supposed to get a job.

    She never lifted a finger. One time (almost a year later) she called me needing a place to crash for a weekend. Well Monday came, I gave her cab and train money and not so much to my surprise she was waiting for me at home. Took 3 hours to get her out the door and I had to almost physically remove her from my apartment. I arranged another place for her to stay and everything. She wouldn't go. And then the landlord got involved when she wouldn't stop banging on the door. (keep in mind this was all in Korean and I couldn't understand any of it)

    Then I ran out of my house to the bus stop and she followed me on the bus. The only way I escaped was I ran through the passenger entrance at a bus stop, ran three blocks, then jumped in a cab. Had to change my phone too. Shew wouldn't stop calling me. Always begging to crash and for money. I have always wanted to know what it feels like to have someone desperately in love with me for a change.