Crisis #542,963

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bereft9, Nov 5, 2014.

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  1. bereft9

    bereft9 Member

    I am so ready to die. It's just everything. I can't stand the pain when these moods hit. I've gotten my life into a terrible mess. The future is going to be more pain and misery. I feel too bad to get myself out of it. I have no insurance to get help. Just let me go. Can't die today, though, it's my nieces birthday. That would be a heckuva thing for her to live with.

    Surely everybody knows by now. My family knows my struggles. I'm 56. I've been fighting this depression and pain for as long as I can remember. Can I go now? Please? I have failed with this life. Just let me go.
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Insurance or not crisis hotlines are free and might have great suggestion for you.

    Hang in there some days might be bad other days are ok. Suicide is not the answer to your problems.
     
  3. bereft9

    bereft9 Member

    Thanks for hearing me. I don't feel able to carry on a discussion right now, but thanks.
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hear you. First the thoughts your suffer are all similar to people who join this forum. I understand the strain your feel at the moment. You are IMPORTANT AND NOT A FAILURE. Yes, we all face hardship but DO NOT ACT ON ANY FEELINGS. No fretting. We all suffer and endure pain in one way but we can get through it.

    Call the hotlines and they will listen and calm your feeling. You are among friends who suffer as well and we can get you through this. Take care and keep posting for the support your truly deserve.
     
  5. bereft9

    bereft9 Member

    I can't call phone hotlines, because I don't have privacy, and I can't get through to the crisis chats.

    I'm not acting on any feelings tonight. However, I don't see how I can continue to live long-term. Technically, there is always hope, but practically, there is none. Of course there's the question of what happens after death. I don't relish looking God in the eye after taking the life He gave me.

    It doesn't matter if I feel good or have a good day, because my personality is messed up, and I will always return to that horrible pain. I'm going to bed. Thanks for responding.
     
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you replying. No one is judging you and we can help you. Just keep surviving on a day by day basis. You are not alone in your pain. PLEASE DO NOT ACT ON YOUR FEELINGS. Just keep posting for support.
     
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