I am so ready to die. It's just everything. I can't stand the pain when these moods hit. I've gotten my life into a terrible mess. The future is going to be more pain and misery. I feel too bad to get myself out of it. I have no insurance to get help. Just let me go. Can't die today, though, it's my nieces birthday. That would be a heckuva thing for her to live with. Surely everybody knows by now. My family knows my struggles. I'm 56. I've been fighting this depression and pain for as long as I can remember. Can I go now? Please? I have failed with this life. Just let me go.