Crisis line is not helpful

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Marvin1971, Jul 13, 2016.

  1. Marvin1971

    Marvin1971 Active Member

    At the end of my tether, I made the mistake of contacting a crisis line. I have been told to do this if I should feel this way. But it has been dangerously counterproductive before and it was counterproductive again.

    I don't want somebody validating my feelings. And when I am at the end of my tether, I don't want suggestions which are appropriate for someone at the start of his tether: of course I have tried doctors / therapists / medication etc. It isn't helping; if it were, I wouldn't be at the end of my tether.

    So - what do I do when the crisis line is making matters worse?
  2. Emily K

    Emily K Member

    I'm sorry that I can't answer your question-- but I would at least like to share some thoughts of mine. A while back when I was really depressed a tried an online chat thingy, because i was really, really sad at that point. I didn't like it, and I completely agree, it was counterproductive. I didn't want someone to just say "i'm sorry you feel that way, try something to distract yourself" I wanted to FEEL better, I wanted for someone to do something to me. I was naive and thought that was possible, and then was let down. So I know that doesn't answer your question, but something you could do if you are really close is calling 911 or going to a hospital urgent care are sitting in the waiting room. Even if you can't help yourself, or a therapist can't (even one over the phone), someone else can help prevent you from doing something to yourself.

  3. Marvin1971

    Marvin1971 Active Member

    Thanks for your message. The thing is, I am not looking for someone to stop me doing something to myself; I am looking to not feel this way.
  4. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    M-1971 - I couldn't count all of the times I was actually made worse by "reaching out" to people on crisis lines when I was at my wits end. Only a fellow sufferer can talk intelligently about depression and a compulsion to commit suicide. That's why the mental health system rarely works-the people running it have never been afflicted by the disease of chronic depression. I am a fellow sufferer-I consider myself to be in remission these days. Although I still fight the battle in little bits every single day I haven't been side-lined in a serious way by depression in over a decade. It was a huge achievement to get to this point-for many years I thought constantly about driving off of a bridge or into a tree at 100 MPH. I had nothing and no one to live for-felt no purpose or meaning in going on with my life. No one would miss me at all if I weren't around anymore and I knew it. I hated myself and I hated my life.

    I'm writing to you now because of one line you wrote-"I'm not looking for someone to stop me from killing myself, I'm looking to stop feeling this way". Just in case you really meant that, I thought that I would drop you a line and tell you that it is possible to stop feeling like shit all the time and not end your life. It's possible to make peace and end the war with yourself and society. I'm not special-not particularly smart (in a bit of a fog most of the time) and I was able to make radical change in my perspective on life. I am 53 years old today-its been 15 years since I've had a suicidal thought. I won't bore you with a bunch of self-help tips-I'm sure you've heard them all, but if you ever want to connect with someone who has been where you are and learned how to "stop feeling that way" I would love to hear from you and tell you how I began to turn things around.
  5. Marvin1971

    Marvin1971 Active Member

    Yes, I do mean it. Crisis lines assume you are looking for someone to stop you killing yourseld. I am not. I don't want to feel like killing myself. But I don't really want a different perspective on life either. I am quite happy with my perspective on life. My circumstances drive how I feel and they are extremely complex with possibly insoluble problems. The idea of the only option being to change my perspective is rather depressing to me, I'm afraid.
    lifetalkz likes this.