Crisis line?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mpang123, Jan 3, 2014.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I had to take a break from this forum for a couple of days. I got a little overwhelmed and got all caught up with this site. Now I'm ok so I can handle this site again. For a couple of nights, I've been fighting horrible thoughts of me wanting to OD again and I thought up many ways that I can do this. However, I was able to talk myself out of it, but it was too close for comfort. I was debating if I should call the crisis line but I already know what's going to happen. They'll ask me if I'm actively suicidal and have a plan. I would not admit to it for fear of them calling EMS on me and create a big scene. Then they'll conjure up some suggestions about how to cope with my feelings and thoughts by journaling, or do something that would distract me. Then they say they will call me up in 30 minutes to check up on me. If I tell them I still feel bad, then they might call EMS for sure. I just lie back to them and regret that I even called them up in the first place. I posted on Facebook briefly about how I was feeling earlier. My friend, which I thought I didn't have any, responded to my post and cheered me up. I realized that my belief that I have absolutely no friends was untrue. At least I have him. I just wish my neighbors were that supportive. Anyway, I started out crying, then feeling sorry for myself, but then I was happy that my friend cared for me and I stopped crying.
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    thats great that your friend heard you and responded in a supportive loving way on fb. When you are in great pain would it be possible to call your therapist? I do understand what you are saying about crisis lines. Although it is better to be honest with them if someone really is going to suicide :hug:
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    The problem is that usually at night time, I start having those feelings. No therapist works at night or the weekends. Plus, my social worker is on vacation and he is only working 8-5 every weekday. My group counselors are only available while I'm at group. Therefore, I have no professional support at dark and the weekends. I only rely on myself to apply coping skills, my neighbors all have their issues so I don't bother them anymore, at least I have one facebook friend, and this forum, which has helped the most. Calling the crisis line is self-defeating and doesn't help at all. Only anxiety.
     
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi mpang. I'm sorry things are rough for you right now. Calling the crisis line is a brave step. What I like about it, is that it shows you're trying to talk things out and not act on your thoughts. That's huge and important! If you call the crisis line and they do end up sending the EMS, it could be life saving for you. And you are worth saving. :hug: You're in my thoughts and I hope things settle down for you soon.
     
  5. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Acy, I'm only going to call crisis line when I REALLY am going to harm/kill myself. That's my last resort. I think I should have acquired enough coping skills to get me through my crisis. I'll process here before I do anything. I have better support here than anywhere else.
     
  6. tiggersafire

    tiggersafire Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you got through your crisis. I'm here if you ever wanna talk, M! :)
     
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