Crisis team questions

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Isa

Well-Known Member
#1
hi guys. i guess i just have some questions and hoped someone here might help.

im posting in the uk.

as you can probably tell from my profile or whatever, im a long term suicidal .. thing.

i get frequently overwhelmed with emotional painn, and the intense urge to end it. however. i know (because when i was last here i did) that i wont try. i tried 40 odd times once up on a time and every time i stopped myself out of guilt to my mum, whos already lost one kid. so i know that im too weak to do it


so my question is, if your suicidal, but your not going to commit suicide, what the fuck will the crisis team do?

at this point, 9 years into this hell, i am just honestly, and unashamedly, desperate for the drugs.

I dont drink or do illegal drugs, I dont smoke, or party or club. I dont do anything. The only thing i can do to hide from my brain is sleep. and i have to be exhausted to get to sleep or i have a panic attack, and i have nightmares.

Im so fucking tired, and I cant stop crying. Last time i posted here I was so sad because i thought it was sad that i didnt have the strength to keep living. now im heartbroken, gutwrenchingly fucked up because i dont have the strength to not.


Please, ignore the bits about suicide there, its kind of irrelevant. my question is about the c risis team. and how much emotiona lpain do you have to be in before your doctor has to concede that one person can only take so much.

i understand that ot get better i have to attack the cause, not the symptom (emotional pain) and that the drugs mask the symptom so you cant get to the cause, but im exhausted, im desperate, i am overwhlemed.

I have no one to talk to. I have precisely 2 people in my life I speak to. My mum, who is at her wits end, trying to look after me and her father who has dementia, a full time job and everything else.. and my best friend. who is dying. its 6am and i have no one to ask for help

im sick of there not being an escape button
 

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#2
Hi,

Sorry you're in so much pain and feel you have no one to talk to about it. Have you ever called the Samaritans? They can be helpful at those times like 6am when you feel alone.. if the person who answers the phone doesn't seem to be helping you can always hang up and redial!

To answer your question about the Crisis Team and what they'd do, personally I'm under a CPN in the Mental Health Team who sees me once every few weeks. I'm quite lucky though as she is brilliant and I know I can contact her if I'm struggling. A few weeks ago I had a dip and she referred me to the Home Treatment Team, which I guess is just another word for a Crisis Team.. they basically assessed my immediate risk and then visited me every day at home. They didn't do much more than the CPN to be honest.. they'd just come round for 20 minutes or so and ask the same old questions like whether I'm at risk of harming myself. My CPN said they are like the gatekeepers to the hospital beds so if they deemed me to be at too high risk they would maybe see about getting me admitted to hospital.

I guess it was quite helpful being under them (I still am but they're coming less frequently) as it gave me something to get up for every day. Realise that sounds strange but otherwise I think i'd have stayed in bed and withdrawn further. Another good thing was that they are a 24/7 service so I could phone them at any time if needed and have a chat. In my county there is also a Crisis Helpline run by the NHS where you can call out of hours and speak to someone.. i guess that's a bit like the samaritans however if the Crisis Helpline feel you're at risk they wouldn't maintain confidentiality like the Samaritans would.

Anyway I hope that you're able to get the help and support you need.. have you been referred to the Crisis Team? I think that if you're having suicidal thoughts but no plans, the Crisis Team would ask about this and ask that you inform them/someone should your thoughts turn to actions.. they'd assess the risk but as long as you're not planning on acting on the thoughts they would just provide you with extra support.. it could be worth a go?

Jenny
 

BornFree

Well-Known Member
#3
I agree with Jenny. When I was under Crisis Team they said being under them was like being cared for at home in your own surroundings instead of hospital and should I get worse they would admit me to hospital.

I did get worse and when I had attempted and rang just to have someone to talk to they must have heard something in my voice as suddenly he said he was phoning an ambulance. He kept me talking and stupidly when he asked me to open the door I was honest and confessed that I couldn't walk, so he told police to meet ambulance to gain access. I wouldn't be here today if he hadn't guessed and sent ambulance as it was a serious attempt. Another time the Social worker (with Crisis Team) visiting took me to hospital in her car after her routine visit. It was that or get assessed for forced admission.

So I guess it depends on your view point. At the time I hated the intrusion but in hindsight I guess it helped and they were nice afterall.

I hope you manage to keep reaching out and get the help you need. Are you on any meds for depression and if you are do you think a change in your meds would help?

I don't have real life people to talk to either, except my H and he doesn't really count, so I get how isolating that can feel. Is your G.P. someone you can talk to?

I hope you find the answers you're after soon. Take care of you!
 
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