I have a lot of MAJOR problems and stressors in my life that I don't know how to deal with. I don't know HOW to allow myself to be happy. I don't have money for counseling, acupuncture, massage or any kind of therapy at all. I don't have friends that I can talk to about this. I have physical and emotional pain that has gone on for far too long. I've tried everything that I knew how to try within my means. I feel truly alone in the world right now but I know that other people out there have felt this way. I now know what it feels like for someone to want to end their life. It's something one cannot understand unless they have been there. I guess I'm just trying to connect with someone who understands how it feels to be totally overwhelmed. I have started writing suicide notes so I guess this is a crisis. I have also thought of ways to end my life and have the items needed to do it effectively. I am not going to commit suicide right now. If I do it, it will be successful for sure. I know how to do it right. Let's just say that if for some reason death were to suddenly come my way, I wouldn't fight it right now.