Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ken1975, Feb 24, 2014.

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  1. Ken1975

    Ken1975 New Member


    I'm a recovering addict and had a relapse on Thursday night. Since then I've been isolating in my bed, haven't been eating, haven't been taking care of myself and have avoided work. I feel like I've finally lost my battle with the illness and that the only way out is to kill myself in order to stop the constant pain and suffering that comes with each relapse. My depression and anxiety is getting worse by the hour.

    I don't know where to go for help. I've manipulated and lied to family enough and don't want to go there again.

    Please help!

  2. indigo_skye

    indigo_skye Well-Known Member

    i am sorry to hear that you are struggling. if i may ask what triggered your relapse? please eat something if you can and drink Gatorade or something similar.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Ken it happens ok people relapse but then get back up and try again You don't want to burden your family i understand that can you talk to your doctor and get some help for your depression and to help you get back on the right path again. Medication or therapy lean on the professionals ok for help you deserve support hun get it before you spiral even more downwards
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi Ken
    good that you found this website/community. I will answer this for what it is worth. I cannot say my words are exactly right...... Although I really believe they are.

    This time just may be your "bottom", when it is time for the biggest decision of all.
    Have you been in recovery? I know you have been in abstinence. But have you been in recovery? If you have, is there someone in your previous or current recovery support program you can contact?

    The chances for recovery only stop when someone decides to truly succumb to the disease. A slip is not succumbing to this disease. Even though it surely can turn into that if you let it.

    You get to decide who wins. The disease doesn't get to decide that, even though it is a mighty and formidable foe. Even though it wants total control. Still you can get that control. Easy? No. But our greatest battles in life can seem insurmountable.

    Take charge again. Make the call to get help. Do not let the demons of this disease win. I understand that reaching out irl will take everything you have. I understand there is huge resistance. But that's the disease. Who CAN you call? Or where can you go? Do not let this disease win. Please keep posting here. This is a very good community. And do not stop fighting this disease. It wins only when you allow it to by not fighting back again and again and again, as many times as it once again tries to regain control. Dont give it that power. Okay?
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