35 minute walk to the train in the dark, no traffic, no people, very little sidewalk and the realization of how alone I am hit like a ton of bricks
Being crushed under the weight of it
The only friend I have lives so far away - feels like I will never get to actually meet them
Spent 6 hours doing laundry by myself - don't want to be in same room as my wife - she cooked for herself last night, I skipped dinner
No help, no one to see, to hear - no physical contact - handshake, hug - even my cats wouldn't sit with me
I don't want to be alone - think I deserve it, was meant to be this way
Hurts so much, the pain of it is paralyzing
God is keeping me away from people to protect them - i'll hurt fewer people when my strength finally runs out and I can't fight any more
So tired - time to rest forever is so close
Being crushed under the weight of it
The only friend I have lives so far away - feels like I will never get to actually meet them
Spent 6 hours doing laundry by myself - don't want to be in same room as my wife - she cooked for herself last night, I skipped dinner
No help, no one to see, to hear - no physical contact - handshake, hug - even my cats wouldn't sit with me
I don't want to be alone - think I deserve it, was meant to be this way
Hurts so much, the pain of it is paralyzing
God is keeping me away from people to protect them - i'll hurt fewer people when my strength finally runs out and I can't fight any more
So tired - time to rest forever is so close