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Crushing On Your Best Friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by PinkiePieInTheSky, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. PinkiePieInTheSky

    PinkiePieInTheSky Well-Known Member

    So, I have a problem. Please forgive me if I sound like a jerk as I'm writing this, but I'm trying to be dead honest in my feelings/thoughts.

    I'm a college aged guy, and I've been crushing on my best friend, a girl, for the past three years. She's a year older than me.
    I live near a small town. I've done a fair amount of international travel. Some people say I'm really smart.

    My crush has barely left the state. She's normally the slowest person in a conversation.
    I love hanging out with her. We both love creative writing. We're both pretty complient people.

    I also feel like I have too many issues to be in a relationship anytime soon.
    I actually just last week heard that she actually feels exactly the same, that she doesn't consider herself anywhere near ready for a relationship. (but as she was saying it, my mind was saying, "I disagree. You are a fantastically cool person. I'd date and possibly even marry you in a heartbeat.")

    I can't kill my crush. I've tried telling myself that there is absolutely no chance in our relationship, but all that does is make me sad.

    Some of my angst might come from the religious teaching I've received over my life, which severely critizes dating. I've had to work at telling myself that dating does not instantly mean we're getting married. But I've mostly dumped that.

    I hate having a crush that I don't feel I can pursue. I like being Spock, not caring about relationships at all.

    Thanks for reading :)
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    And if you try persuing it and if does go somewhere then you will be the better for it If it does not go somewhere at least you tried hun and can say that If you do nothing then you will never know where that friendship could of taken you hugs
  3. PinkiePieInTheSky

    PinkiePieInTheSky Well-Known Member

    Thanks Eclipse :).

    I'll have to serious considering persuing it. "Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all," right?
  4. Cat of Spades

    Cat of Spades Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you are attracted to each other.

    I say go for it, otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I would say go for it, and see what happens. Even if things don't work out, at least you gave it a try. I had feelings for a close friend for the duration of our friendship, which was about 7 years, but I don't think he really knew how I felt. Now he's out of my life, and I regret not telling him. I hope that things will work out for the best for you.
  6. Syn

    Syn Well-Known Member

    So, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you man. I'd rather not care about relationships either, but I'm all hung up about my best friend. The main difference between our situations is I already told my friend how I felt about her and I got turned down. Still, I say it was worth at least trying because at least I know now that nothing could come of it (Rather than just telling myself that without knowing for sure and having that sort of resolution). There's a solace in not questioning what could be, and you don't have regret later on about not giving it a shot. Besides, you said yourself that you can't kill your crush, so you gotta try man. If she doesn't feel the same, you two can still be friends. My friend and I are still best friends, it was a bit awkward for a bit, but that passed pretty quickly. And sure, I had regrets about telling her, but I would've had more regrets if I hadn't told her how I felt (I think, can't know for sure I guess) Also, If it doesn't work out then at least you know and then killing your feelings for her should be much easier (Should be...) If it does work, well the benefits shouldn't need any elaboration. And besides, from what I hear and see, the best foundation for a relationship is a strong friendship. What've you really got to lose?