Cry

I cry whenever someone dies in shows. Recently I stopped crying when I think of my own death. Am I ready now, I ask myself!? It's like stuck in an endless cycle of pain and nothing else. There's the pain, and when I wait out the pain, there's nothing and then there's pain all again. What happened to the small glimpse of joy? I stopped smiling thesedays. It's getting harder. I know what I'm doing or about to do. I just can't get over it. I just want one more day but even that seems so extravagant.

 

Hu hun you so so depressed so much in the darkness it is hard to see hope there There is hope hun there is that spark of light I do hope you reach out okay to your doctor and get some help newer medication to take away that sadness some even give you that bit of energy that is needed to motivate oneself. Please reach out go to hospital call your doctor and tell them how you feel get the support you need hun to start feeling better. Please know depression it is an illness that can be treated with therapy with medication so don't give up okay please hugs:hugtackles::hugtackles:

 

Big hugs :hug: to you for all the pain. May you channel your inherent desire to live.

With kindest personal regards,

Alex

 

it doesnt bother me that i have stopped smiling, just that it took me so long to realize. yes, hospital will be good if i have the money. besides, honestly it will be a shame for my family if i go. they wont understand nor support me. and i do love them not to put them thru this pain and shame.

 

there is no shame you have an illness like any other illness that needs medical help to heal Your family would prefer you happy and healty hun