Crying again

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by White Dove, Jul 1, 2007.

  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    God why does my family have to do this?

    Why do they not care rather i live or die?

    why do i have to have a brother that treats me like crap.?

    why can not anyone see this pain i am constantly in?

    God why and how can i go on??

    If it is not this pain of a cancer that you allowed me to get then it is just as bad to get this emotional pain i get all the time by a brother who is nothing but a drunk and does not care about me...

    God i am crying again on the inside and it is going deep really deep again. this pain is tormenting me. I can not even get a dang phone call from those who are suppose to love me. God why ?? why did they do it??/ why did they pretend to love me then just walk away why??? Do they not know it is killing me? do they not even care at all??

    they never cared did they? not once and all this talk of how much they love me. it was not true was it? it was never true and lantana they hate me.... they never loved me like i thought. it was untrue. i cant be loved at all. i can not even be loved by my own dang family so how can anyone else ever love me??

    God i am so hurt and mad... i hate those that hurt me. i hate what the minister did to me and his wife. i hate what my brother did to me... telling me to go ahead. god he really cares doesnt he.... i had to vent it is killing me inside. i am trying to fight so hard but i am losing this battle... im losing it.

    i called my brother tonight cause this pain of this cancer is eating away at me and i get this from him back.... God i want this life to end soon... so soon... i need you.. i need someone right now but there is no one close by... no one... god what am i going to do...
  2. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    You do have someone hun, you have us, we are here to support you, you are not alone.
    I am sorry you are in so much physical and mental pain, maybe you could have your pain medication increased, have you spoken to your doctor about this? At least that would help with the physical pain.

    Remember my pm box is always open.
    Take care hun.
    Hazel :hug: