crying for mom

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by forever_scarred, Apr 26, 2010.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    i came here over a year ago....posted and talked hoping to get out what i needed to to move on from my mothers death but the pain is still there like it had happened a couple of months it will be 3 years since i have seen her face, felt her touch....i long to be with her so badly...:cry: my only wish for the rest of my life, the only thing i want is my mother...perhaps it is crazy to say it but if i thought that killing god were possible, if i knew it would bring the pain to an end and either bring her back to me or being me to her, id do it without a second thought but i kno that cant happen...

    i had no idea what i would do for her 60th birthday/3 year anniversary (both on the same day) but made a video tonite...showing moms life....and as i re-watch and listen to the song i feel the tears streaming down my face...i kno im never gonna have her back...i need her so badly...i kno shes not sick anymore and "watching over me" but its not the same...that pain never goes away, no matter how hard i try to hide it or make things better...:cry: i miss her so much
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: Meg :hug:

    I don't think I can watch your video right now, but I have bookmarked it for when I am feeling up to it..

    I know how you are feeling, and I only wish I could do something to help. Something I have learnt over the last 3 years is that, as much as we want to be with them, they don't want that. The last thing our loved ones want is for us to join them. Your Mum loves you, and protected you as much as she could while she was alive .. she wouldn't want any harm to come to you.

    I haven't been a great friend recently, sorry about that. Think i was struggling to much with my own similar situation and it makes it hard to talk to you about yours. I'm here if you need someone who understands... Alternatively, have you tried going back onto GROWW again?

    Sam xxx
  3. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    i understand sam....i havent been here for u and i'm sorry too....i have been back to GROWW but i dont speak much i feel like if i say anything i will mess chat up and everyone will be upset and i dont want that to happen
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Give me a pm if you want to go on there any time and if I'm around I will come on with you :hug:

    Until then, you take care and remember what I said :hug:
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I don't really know what to say right now, but I wanted to give you a massive cyber hug :hug: :hug:

    The pain will indeed never go away... and a sentence that helps me sometimes is "You'll never get over it, but you will get used to it." You will at some point give it a place in your heart and accept the fact that she passed away, however hard that is, it will happen at some point.

    Know people here and I'm sure in your direct environment too, are there for you, to listen, to offer a shoulder to lean on.

    Stay strong, she'd have wanted you to. And I'm pretty sure she'd be very proud of you right now :hug: :hug:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are in so much pain Your mom is still there not physically but there and she would not want this sadness for you. All mothers want their children to be happy Have you gotten and grief therapy at all it does help ease the pain some. I hope in time you will start remember the happy times more that you spent with your mother and the pain becomes less for you. take care okay
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :hug: Thinking of you (I've been there). Losing a parent is so hard. There's no set time for anyone to be finished with grieving. Eventually, the feelings of intense sadness just come along every now and then. I'm sorry it feels like it was just yesterday for you.

    Sam is right that your mom would not want you to be with her now. Maybe you could focus on the love and good times and let them help you find the strength you need now.