Plays Deaf some Rachmaninov iano: Deaf hunts me down and shoots me for murdering a wonderful piece of music.hmy:
lol devvie... thanks for your replies guys.. i guess im just not really doing great at the moment... its like 6 am and i need to get moving because i have cadets today and a piano lesson soon, but i really truely cannot be stuffed.i'm so tired... not just physically from getting up early today.. just tired overall... it aint fair.. :cry:
It's true hun. It really isn't fair. Such good people, yourself especially, being so worn and so beaten by the crap feelings and hard times in life. It's not fair. I so wish there was something I could do to help you out hun, I'm sure things will get better once you can get out of the crazy situation your in now.. just hang in there for now :hug: lean on me, all of us, throughout these rough patches.. And dev :laugh: :biggrin: I can honestly say I could play a mean mary had a little lamb for yah
im so fucking tired... i almost passed out today from it actually. i hate it. i cant even collapse yet because i have to keep going a little bit longer. its a wonder i actually managed today at all... hmy: you killed mary's lamb?! marys not gonna be happy!! :nono:
ITS SO UNFAIR... shes gone to LOOK for him now, chrissakes!! I wish this situation was half as complicated as it is now, because then i just MIGHT be able to cope with it!!! its no fair... i hate it. The thing is, she's pretty sure she knows where he is and so that means that he's coming back again. He'll be all depressed (maybe he has a mental illness? well he sure aint doing anything about it and i cant force him either... :unsure: ) - like usual... and then things will be back to 'normal', until the next gigantic outburst... they're getting worse and more frequent. I'm damn scared of whats gonna be next time. its always about the same fucking things to do with work, but like with any kind of family conflict, it's way more confusing than that. Also we kind of need to find him too which is what pisses me of the most, i mean we kind of are broke, and we kind of have bills that are due tomorrow that i'd love to be able to pay but cant because i dont know how much money we actually have because guess who's taken it and controlled it all? Dad. i wish he doesnt come back but we have to find him, or at least find the chequebooks. mums all stressed and tired and upset... I hate it because i cant do anything about it, but i dont want her to spiral like i've done so many fucking times already. Wait, that sounds weird, like i'm *her* mum... there i go again. i really should stop doing that. maybe I'm *too* caring for her. But that sounds so bitchy... i dont know... i'm so confused... so tired... and I have a math test tomorrow and a crapload of homework. I WANT OUT!!! :rant: :cry:
update:she found him and theyre talking stuff thru - like i guessed hes badly depressed and has lost a lot of weight and they are gonna be back later tonight... grrrrrr.... i dont want to talk to him.
Aw hun, sorry this is such a rotten situation. However, if dad is depressed maybe now is the time for you to gently suggest he gets some help?
he's back home now... and will be getting up soon, and i dont want to see or talk to him AT ALL. btw ty for replies :hug:
