ITS SO UNFAIR... shes gone to LOOK for him now, chrissakes!! I wish this situation was half as complicated as it is now, because then i just MIGHT be able to cope with it!!! its no fair... i hate it. The thing is, she's pretty sure she knows where he is and so that means that he's coming back again. He'll be all depressed (maybe he has a mental illness? well he sure aint doing anything about it and i cant force him either... :unsure: ) - like usual... and then things will be back to 'normal', until the next gigantic outburst... they're getting worse and more frequent. I'm damn scared of whats gonna be next time.
its always about the same fucking things to do with work, but like with any kind of family conflict, it's way more confusing than that. Also we kind of need to find him too which is what pisses me of the most, i mean we kind of are broke, and we kind of have bills that are due tomorrow that i'd love to be able to pay but cant because i dont know how much money we actually have because guess who's taken it and controlled it all? Dad. i wish he doesnt come back but we have to find him, or at least find the chequebooks.
mums all stressed and tired and upset... I hate it because i cant do anything about it, but i dont want her to spiral like i've done so many fucking times already. Wait, that sounds weird, like i'm *her* mum... there i go again. i really should stop doing that. maybe I'm *too* caring for her. But that sounds so bitchy... i dont know... i'm so confused... so tired... and I have a math test tomorrow and a crapload of homework.
I WANT OUT!!! :rant: :cry: