crying/mom/nightmares - poss trigger

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by among the stars, May 28, 2008.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    i've had a dream several times now -- but i'm starting to think its just the past coming back to haunt me - when my mom was very sick and dying i remember going into her room while a VNA nurse was there taking care of her and as i went around the side of the bed i remember vividly seeing the blood more than anyone should ever see in their entire life -- the image now haunts me - in every dream, it follows died of many things cancer being the main thing but she did of not eating or drinking, of blood loss - and i cant, i dont wanna remember -
    i hated her so much for messing up my life, i prayed annd prayed that shed die, i hated her then and i hate her now, she broke her promise when she first was diagnosed she said "ill be here, i promise" well shes not here is she.........:(
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Her body could not last hun. She may not be here for you physically, but she is in spirit. She had no control of the disease that took her from you. I am sure, given the choice, she would have chosen to stay with you and watch you grow. What you are feeling right now is a normal part of the grieving process. It is okay to feel angry, hurt, and hate for her. I am sorry things unfolded the way they did. Know that you are in my thoughts. :hug: